Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
The Crank
Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML
Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
Are you so bad you can't even satisfy yourself? e.e... I'm sorry, this is just pathetic.. Crying and masturbating? masturbation guilt? I.. I can't even fathom this. How can you even get off while crying?
flockz 20
BUT I CRIED THE WHOLE!! oh wait u didnt have sex.....
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Comments (212)
gmc_blossom 21
Whoa people. Masturbating may be fun for some of you. However, for some, it's a chore they don't want to do, and so it makes them really upset whilst doing it. You inconsiderate people. Who actually enjoys masturbation or sex these days anyways? Nasty freaks.
skylerXx 6
Anyone who is a normal person enjoys sex and masturbation.
stefx0xwallace 6
im gonna say ur a weird person who ha never been laid an got bored with doing the job urself?
harrywestt 0
I see where your coming from about the masturbation side of things and that is a lil nasty. but everyone enjoys sex. if no one loved sex you wouldn't be here stupid.
gmc_blossom 21
I was being sarcastic, thank-you.
Climaxx 11
Surely your penis can't be THAT bad.
KingOfOreos 0
would of been better if u said small
wat11115 0
that makes even less sense
CyonideCyns 0
I'm just curious as to, why the he'll were you crying? And wouldn't the crying turn you off? Why did you keep wanking?
maskedman 9
She (or he) were using their tears for lube.
armorf0r 7
One of the more.. ****** up FML's I've read. And what exactly put you in this predicament?
bettyc4 26
tears are the best lubricant ;)
KingOfOreos 0
xD wow you would know from experience huh
bettyc4 26
ya just ask your mom ;)
kcircuses2 4
blood works a little better
bettyc4 26
that's when aunt Flow comes to town
ajbaby311 5
Woah
MineDub5253 0
My friend made up a name for this before we even saw this: cranking
travinator41 2
4, did you pass 7th grade?
Epsilonyx 15
I do that all too often...all too often. Let us share in our sorrow, brother of mine.
AresRyujin 1
You need a new hobby...