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Anonymous This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

The Crank

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

Collection

Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Top comments

dudeitsdanny 10

Are you so bad you can't even satisfy yourself? e.e... I'm sorry, this is just pathetic.. Crying and masturbating? masturbation guilt? I.. I can't even fathom this. How can you even get off while crying?

BUT I CRIED THE WHOLE!! oh wait u didnt have sex.....

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Comments (212)

Krista835 5

I'm not the only one that doesn't understand how that's constructive... Right?

Well I guess your biceps must be rock hard then :P

That's bad if you cry. Make some new friends other than Jill...(:

You must be doing it wrong if it makes you cry.

double post,sorry

You're pulling too hard! I know they call it "whacking off," but it doesn't mean that you literally hit it. Trim your pubes and use lotion -- it's all about technique.

Sun_Kissed18 25

Completely read "closet" first and was thoroughly confused

Halcyon3210 6

I did the same thing and thought he was wanking and crying in a closet. . .

sylverdrag_fml 9

When you feel like that, get out of your house and take a walk outside. Look around you and you will find you feel better after a while.