Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML
Today, I learned the hisses of my 3 cats so I can tell who starts the fights. FML
Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML
Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I thought I had two cats, an albino and a tuxedo, but apparently I have four. I just discovered that an orange cat and a black cat have somehow gotten into my basement and made themselves at home. There's no way in hell I can afford four cats. Oh, and the cats I actually own hate them. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML
Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML
Today, I realized my cat responds to and interacts with me when I talk to her more than my own parents do when I talk to them. Actually, that statement applies to pretty much everyone I know. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I don't know anyone in the city where I just moved. I felt really lonely so I picked up my cat to try and cuddle with her. She freaked out and ripped my face apart. She ran then away to go play with the cats outside. Even my cat has more friends than me. FML
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Top comments
dinosxxrawr 22
who needs friends when you have cats.
ClumsyKee 14
But...they're your friends, right? There is never a limit to kitties. Plus, they don't judge you...quite as harshly. ;)
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Comments (124)
SuperDanielNL 23
That you make a choice doesn't mean you make a good one. Besides I think no one choses a one point to say, "**** it, I buy a shit ton of cats and never leave my house." I think such a change is gradual, people might not even notice until they have an eye opener like that.
daniel_0084 14
So she didn't notice she had no friends and 6 cats until she memorized the sound that each of her cats paws made on the carpet. Sounds reasonable
tragicnightmare 15
OP, do you happen to be the crazed cat lady? :)
SuperDanielNL 23
Just saying that that was an eye-opener. Though I kinda get your point and I agree with the fact that OP should go out and try to be social.
Lepisma 38
I can tell my two apart by the jingle of their collars, or their footsteps and the way they jump on me when I'm trying to sleep. That said, I can also tell my coworkers apart by the sound of footsteps as they move around. It's not a bad thing, just something you pick up after a while of being around someone or something - embrace the inner cat lady!
xblaine 17
At least they won't sneak up on you.
JayySkyline 15
I'm not interested into befriending any humans. If I were you, I'd stick to having small animal friends.
DarthVader77 9
You already have friends, fluffy and purry. As for humans, they suck big tine, you are not missing much
audreyfml1994 15
I think having 6 cats would suffice for a good FML in it of itself.
graceinsheepwear 34
54, you just broke my heart.
pantherpride98 10
Somebody's bit.chy
MisterEx 28
Friends? You need to work as a professional locksmith and illegally crack safes and be filthy rich and buy more cats, OP.