Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML
Today, my funny, handsome, intelligent, caring, all around awesome boyfriend and I broke up. He introduced me to his fetish and wanted me to participate. His fetish? Dressing, talking, and acting like a baby. He wanted us to both wear diapers and pretend to be babies together. Fuck that noise. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted the reason he was dating me was because he has a fetish for grandmothers and apparently I look, smell, and act like one. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML
Today, I found out that my new boyfriend is a "Men's Rights Activist". FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML
Today, I found out that the love of my life had been pleasuring himself to pictures of my ex-boyfriends. Yes, he's bisexual. He says it's ok because I'm dating him now. Great. FML
Today, when my new boyfriend told me he had a thigh fetish, I thought it was cute, until I realised our sex life would mostly be him fawning all over my legs, then dry humping my knees. We’ve been together 3 months and I can count the number of actual shags I’ve had on one hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend learned about my filthy fetishes in the worst way possible. He found me naked in the bathroom, licking the dirty toilet seat. I couldn't even make an excuse. FML
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Top comments
Mikeskinner 7
Looks like you're... Barking up the wrong tree.
acerima 11
Screw the puns, that is just sick.
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Comments (165)
DocBastard 40
I've heard "Dog is man's best friend", but this is ridiculous.
Keevarou 17
More like mans best friend with benefits..?
Lissur 3
You may want to get him help...o_o
zandalee 20
Or at the very least get the dog help! Poor animal!!!
little_one 20
Dogs love peanut butter!
littlemeg 5
It's only "probably" a deal breaker?! I'd be the second fastest bitch outta there.
pmadNess 16
Thank you! I'd out before he even finished the sentence!
TheNewGuy03 29
So fast, even, that you miss verbs in your sentences!
Mossears133 15
After the Labrador, I'm assuming
pmadNess 16
131- Exactly! I'd be that fast!
etchsanity1 11
Keep him away from the peanut butter and call ASPCA ;)
Catkam623 27
Did anyone else hear Charlie sheen saying no Alan your supposed to have the dog lick the peanut butter off of you when they read this.
cb1002630 11
Was this before or after deciding not to take a bath in chicken nuggets?
Bakarra 22
Oh dang he sounds like a beast! iality...
Vanillanougat 14
Your pun is bad and you should feel bad.
Pleonasm 36
Who names their dog "Disgusting?"
THuD29 4
I really hope this is all a cruel joke, for OP's sake
toelie 26
For the dog's sake more like.
DDCA 24
*********** is not okay!
Keevarou 17
I thought it was ********** and not ***********.. But in some states it is ok, and in some countries. And who are you or anyone here to decide if it is ok or not? You have not really talked to that many who is into ********** I suppose, some I hve talked to shows care and love, not just lust. Aaaanyway!
pmadNess 16
Uhhhh. Yeeeeah. The animal is so capable of expressing consent and has a say in the matter? "Ok sparky!" "One bark for anal, two for oral." "Goooooood doggie!"
MidnightWolf3 12
***********
GwennaRose 22
Don't worry OP, he just likes it doggy style