Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML
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Top comments
candiicane 12
Where does that even come from?
OffToTheGayBar 9
Ignorance, don't ya love it? I do.
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Comments (133)
WaSiSimiLang 8
Congrats on your 500th comment! And maybe show him a picture of your nun/Arabic outfit, then do some non-stereotypical stuff and watch him go nuts... Not that I'm implying anything here about nuns and Arabs...
vinuju 9
Thats just so freakin' hilarious..!!!! poor guy, must be all closed up in his house, ask him to get out and get a life..!!!!!
mpsteve137 15
Black people get on FML?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Ignorant idiots go on FML? Oh wait, why do I ask? They've been here since 2009.
rattusrattus 19
You should ask him if he thinks you have a dromedary or bactrian camel. Or tell him to get his eyes checked if he can't tell the difference between a camel and a coffee table. BTW, if he thinks you have a bactrian camel... well, that fails on multiple levels.
AnimalLover1031 8
And how old exactly is your neighbor?
DocBastard 40
I'm frankly surprised that more people here DON'T realise that among many populations, Black Americans included, lactose intolerance is the norm. This is not a stereotype, people, it's fact. Some groups have up to 90% incidence of lactose intolerance. What the neighbour said has a grain of truth, and all of you screaming "Ignorance! Racism! Bigotry!" need to do some research before showing your OWN ignorance.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Yeah doc, but in this case the neighbor did think that ALL blacks are intolerant, or at least that was how op phrased it so much so that people will straight away sub-consciously assume those things you mentioned...
runnamuk 6
I know little about lactose intolerance, especially concerning how it is developed. Is lactose intolerance a genetic inability to process lactose where you can predict a greater likelihood of developing it in different ethnic groups? Or is it a random genetic disability? Or is it more likely to be developed based on diet?
DocBastard 40
90% is pretty damned close to all. But people exaggerate all the time: "It rained, like, all day!" Did it really? Every second of the day? My point is that this isn't racist or stereotyping. It's based on fact.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Ah ok saw where you were coming from...
ClosetTroll 10
That explains it. I was wondering about the relation between the two. It's so close to being a stereotype. Can't blame the OP for thinking so.
Ugi 27
It may be the norm, but if she says she's not then it's pretty bizarre that he obviously doesn't believe her. Is it genetic or diet-related in those populations that are commonly intolerant (or both or neither)?
DocBastard 40
It's genetic.
murdersquirrel 15
Thank you!! I am glad someone realizes there's truth to this. It's not racism.
TheNewGuy03 29
This certainly is enlightening. I suspected that lactose intolerance had its progeny in genes, but I also thought that your body would simply adapt to it as time passed, as the body typically does. Hmm. |the kid|
Peachy2392 26
How is 90% not close to all?
Chad_the_Brony 0
I asked my mum if black men have brown sperm if white people have white sperm once. It was just a random question that popped in my head.
Dracoboxer357 36
78- That same thought occurred to me for about 3 seconds back when I was 12, but then I realized, I'm not actually white, I'm more dark-peach coloured, and since my semen wasn't...... ;) Yeah.
Sw33ttp13 1
Y does your neighbor kno what you eat?
gracehi 33
I had a black friend in A School that said when he was in boot camp a white kid came up to him & said, "Please don't take offense to this, but I have never seen a black person before." Apparently in some parts of the US there are just no black people. OP's neighbor might be from a place like that.
Dracoboxer357 36
96- I was raised in a small town located in North-western Ontario (Canada) and I had never seen black people either until I was about 14 or so (besides on TV). I didn't assume they were any different from me, but I spent a lot time around many other people of different ethnic origins, specifically native americans so I guess I didn't care. It wasn't until college that I was actually introduced to this very charming black girl named Lisa, and she humoured and laughed at all my ignorant questions I never had clarified before. (Such as, I knew she could get sun burnt, but could she get a sun tan? Silly stuff such as that, but I just didn't know. She thought it was hilarious.) I guess what I'm saying is, I assumed most everyone was similar until I saw the differences, instead of thinking everyone's different until proven the same. :)
tbenson0628 14
....*speechless*......