Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML
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Top comments
candiicane 12
Where does that even come from?
OffToTheGayBar 9
Ignorance, don't ya love it? I do.
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Comments (133)
courtneyann211 10
Sorry for the double post!!
meowmeowmeow7 2
Ew. Black people are gross
lollipopcicle 6
they're not!?!
QWERTYCommander 5
Consume all of your dairy products around him.
hfcknbby 0
Oh wow.
franceypants 0
omg that's so funny
DocBastard 40
Had you posted this as the first comment, all of the "omg racist stereotyping!" comments could have been eliminated. Thanks at least for clarifying.
sea_biscuit 2
There is a much higher percentage of black people who are lactose intolerant as compared to other races.
tasian14 12
So tht doesnt mean ur to assume all of us can t eat it
loneala 3
That doesn't mean that every black person is.
Badkarma4u 17
Its about 75% of black americans on average it fluctuates with the amount of northenr european genes. 90 percent of asians and native americans are lactose intollerant as well. Typically people with most northern european genes are the least lactose intollerant. With northenr Europeans being only 5 percent lactose intollerant.
Nygma 14
214 & 256: #209 wasn't saying that every African person was lactose intolerant, just stating the fact that most are. It's not racist to state statistics about a group. If I knew that 8 out of 10 people I was going to talk to without being able to see were going to be wearing a jacket, it wouldn't be unreasonable for me to assume that whomever I spoke to was wearing a jacket, as there would be a higher chance that I was correct. However: A) It is racist to continue believing someone is LI after they've already told you they're not, or to believe that all Africans are LI(main point being the difference between all and most); B ) I don't have a source for these statistics, so they very well could be wrong. My point remains though.
shrimpygymnast 9
racist prick!
tournamentdecide 33
I would call him idiotic more so than racist.
tasian14 12
Where did he get that from that black people can't drink milk???