Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML
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Top comments
candiicane 12
Where does that even come from?
OffToTheGayBar 9
Ignorance, don't ya love it? I do.
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Comments (133)
challan 19
I'm intrigued! What makes him think that? Milk is white, so only white people can ingest it? Can Asians only eat yellow cheese? Hmmmm Is it only dairy? Maybe it's food racial profiling! Dairy, angel food cake, vanilla pudding and rice for whites only... Red meat and red velvet cake for Native Americans, Indians and Pakistanis only... Good news for you OP, but bad news for me is that you get chocolate!
WaSiSimiLang 8
Mostly agree with you... But the part about Asian eating only YELLOW cheese kinda showed you think of Asians having yellow skin... Isn't that a stereotype too? I've seen Asians of many different colours so I'm sorry, but I think your example was a bit invalid there...
challan 19
I was joking... Making another stereotypical assumption to make fun of another. I do not think that Asians have yellow skin, nor do I think that Native Americans, Indians, or Pakistanis are actually red skinned. In fact, My skin is not actually white.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Ah, I see... Well, ignore the first part then!
THExistentialist 13
so, wtf do I eat? I'm normally white as paper but I've acquired a nasty sunburn ... so I eat... uh... what about if I get a tan? should I just burn white bread in the toaster according to my varying shades or do I still get the pudding? what about chocolate? I ******* HATE WHITE CHOCOLATE! and coffee? I can't have mocha anymore? ! I live on mocha! HEEEELP!
emmaweeee 0
What does being black and being lactose intolerant have to do with anything? White people can be lactose intolerant too
courtneyann211 10
Thank you captain obvious
TattleTale 8
Wow I have heard a lot of stupid stereotypes but this one has to top the list.
NuTrees 9
Lol! Did no one else think this was hilarious? I'm black and can handle a racial laugh, you guys need to loosin up.
Tiecho 4
Im black - lactose intolerant and so 3 out of 5 of my immediate family... Sooo
Perdition 4
You and your family are a contradiction. Like Starbursts.
Ugi 27
So your family probably doesn't eat very much dairy produce. As far as lactose digestion is concerned, if you don't use it you lose it.
ayyemmcee 1
Wait. You all aren't?!! Jk, where the **** did that stereotype come from?
obeliks 4
What does he think about chocolate milk??
antonnn_fml 0
All black people have aids though...
Holy_ish 19
Go burn in hell bro I'm not even black and I find that shit uncalled for.
challan 19
How was this not moderated already? Wow. You're a dickwad.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Are you one of the little ***** who thinks the HIV virus was created by Blacks or for blacks by the goverment to eradicate them? Same goes for the idiots who believe gays created the HIV virus. I agree, get some real facts, educate yourself. If all else fails, burn in hell, Ass-clown.
PlaidPanda 9
That was just immature, but I love how (I'm guessing here) he made an fml profile just to say that. Comment:1
WaSiSimiLang 8
This is hilarious (the theory of which he created an account just for this comment I mean) To the commenter (who is too cowardly to post this in his own account and is most probably looking at this through his or her original account)... See my profile message? See the one capitalized phrase? That, my friend, is pointed to people like you, no matter how you hide yourself.
obeliks 4
Answering wrong post i hope:)
alicekittykatt 0
Ugh some people just don't get it.. But I understand how he could think that but common sense some people just lack it these days.
stinkFist232 3
Take him swimming. :o