Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML
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Top comments
candiicane 12
Where does that even come from?
OffToTheGayBar 9
Ignorance, don't ya love it? I do.
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Comments (133)
THExistentialist 13
get a spitting alpaca, dye it to have the exact Pikachu coloring. get to know what he looks like before he spits so that when you introduce him to neighbor, you can say "PIKA PIKAAAA!" the instant beforehand. then watch, feel, as you gaze deep in his eyes and experience his mind blow.
drawmyhearton_fml 3
WTF Ôo where did he get that idea Anyway?
pexy_fml 16
there are still people like that !! REALLY ?!!
inferiarmy 0
Is this even a stereotype? What other ridiculous things does he believe? Mexican people come from Antarctica?
ElricMustang 23
Why the hell would he even think that in the first place? A certain race can't be intolerant -.- otherwise he'd be intoler- wait, he's IQ intolerant.
Kitouran 30
Actually, 90% of African Americans are lactose intolerant.
immaMonsta 8
Where the **** did he get that idea?
jmills877 0
HAAAA!!
OfficeNinja 5
Really blow his mind by saying you don't like something that according to stereotypes black people are supposed to love. Messing with people can be fun :)
courtneyann211 10
Like watermelon, fried chicken, collards and corn bread?! Wait...that even sounds like a typical southern meal!
courtneyann211 10
Like watermelon, fried chicken, collard greens and corn bread?! Wait...sounds like a typical "southern" meal as well
Ima_NeRD6213 4
Would love to see this illustrated!
KiddNYC1O 22
What about a magic carpet?! =P