Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML
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Top comments
candiicane 12
Where does that even come from?
OffToTheGayBar 9
Ignorance, don't ya love it? I do.
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Comments (133)
barlessprison 16
Well if you ever grow tired of his stupidity and ignorance, just eat cheese, drink some milk and eat ice cream all at once in front of him. He might spontaneously combust at the sight of that.
lainzilla 14
That's definitely one of the weirder things I've read on here.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Not sure if ignorant or just stupid.
THExistentialist 13
both are too similar. more like, "not sure if close-minded-stereotyping-racist, ignorant, or just a ginger.
ssnowywinter 0
Funny how with that comment you're stereotyping gingers...
SammySteel 6
He must be Patrick
StanSmith_fml 9
Wait... How DO you eat cheese?
WaSiSimiLang 8
Dude you're making OP's neighbor look good... Now where's that font which indicates I got your sarcasm and am not being an overbearing stiff?
THExistentialist 13
you peel it into fun, awesome strings and insert into peal cavity, then, you contemplate the flavor and fun stringy cheesiness as it mixes with saliva and gets pushed around with the muscle called a tongue, lastly, you close your epiglottis over your trachea so that the masticated mush that was formerly stringy enters the esophogus and proceeds to the stomach where it can be ignored while you proceed to go back to step one. repeat this process until no more cheese is available, or you feel urge to regurgitate stomach contents. and you, dear sir, must do this while listening to The String Cheese Incident. DONE? YOU'VE DONE IT! YOU'VE EATEN CHEESE AND GAINED 70 EXP, AND A N00B SWORD!
Ugi 27
What? I've never even heard that. I belive many Chinese people are lactose intollerant but that's not related to genetics, as far as I know. It's just that adults tend to lose their ability to digest lactose if they don't eat much dairy and the Chinese diet is typically fairly low on dairy products. Don't see why one Californian's diet should be much different from any other's.
ssnowywinter 0
Actually, lactose intolerance is linked to genetics because your DNA codes the enzyme that is needed to digest lactose : )
mhopper 13
Wow. Sad to see racism is rampant everywhere.
loserman67 36
Tell me, what is it like having David Duke as your neighbor?
Darcon 8
You should make her dieded.
chaela 3
A friend of mine asked in biology class if black people had black organs inside of them, yeh, year 12 biology.
THExistentialist 13
well... o.o there's my cue. suicide, engage.
shadowcat100 3
Wow I have heard a lot of dumb things but that take the cake