Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, while working as a receptionist at a doctor's office, my boss asked me to check in one more patient before I left. He paid his $50 copay in nickels and dimes. FML
Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML
Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
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Top comments
badass243 6
you should thrown em down and yelled "AW HELL NO"
TinyEMT 6
That's beyond disgusting. -_-
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Comments (83)
mama2b3 20
Thats disgusting fyl. I probably would've thrown up.
nic7973 23
thrown up and given it to her to get rid of?
xxkimmyt 9
You should've just gave the trash can to her instead...
narrowords 18
No kidding. What did you expect, OP? Rose petals?
33loveyou 2
Well I'm sure she wasn't expecting nails eaither.
LadiDi_fml 10
sometimes patients ask me to throw a paper or an empty caffe cup lol
ninjuh_wingman 29
She must be very pleasant.
Fmlsea 28
why not just grab the bin and hold it up that way they can throw it in , if you had done that it would not of gone on ur hand . FYL
Zachdaddy58 0
True very true
Blue_Black_fml 21
15- you mean "it would not HAVE". Sorry I just hate it when people replace "have" with "of".
mama2b3 20
How polite of her not to just throw them on the floor...
Epsilonyx 15
You should have stared her straight in the eye as you slowly put each in your mouth, one by one, while mumbling "I want to touch you..." seductively.
Epsilonyx 15
That's "****** up" to you? o.o You must know some really boring people, then...
Meraklez1013 9
How the world did this comment get 11 thumbs up?? It's disgusting!! :/
Epsilonyx 15
Lol, my bad, "Meraklez".
Meraklez1013 9
So y the quotations over Meraklez?
RedMosquito 4
If you take those fingernails, chicken bones, some bat blood and a couple sage scented candles, you can curse that nasty bitch!
Mister_Triangle 21
Yeah! Give her a curse that causes fast growing nails!
Goatinsfriend 8
I would of probably gag.
KM96 24
And that's what you get for being nice ... :/ what the hell is wrong with her ??? :/
ThecomingofTan 9
She was just done with her snack, that's all.