Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently, my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she's embarrassed of my real brother. FML
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Top comments
poopystick 0
I would love to call that woman my mother
InBetweenDreams 0
Your mom has problems. Seriously, do parents always have to be so embarrassing?
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Comments (71)
austinpowers59 0
everyone who wants to know what his answer was, you guys are creeps. and thats really funny.
LemonStarship 5
Sounds like she wants in.
newjerseyguy 0
hopefully she offered to show some techniques to help him please her.
stingray626 0
haha sounds like something my aunt would say sober or drunk haha
perdix 31
FYL if his answers were "She's like a motionless sack of goo" and "No, she tastes like an open sewer on a summer's day."
detolicious 2
win!
Aerious 0
I'm curious; is your boyfriend a donkey? Did he bite you as your posting name says?
cdbank3 0
what a rack. ur hot
Cypherrr 13
rofl well that's a wee bit embarrassing. xD It'd be great if we all knew his response. :D
princessjasmine2_fml 0
Well, does he?
princessjasmine2_fml 0
Well, does he?
BoCo_fml 9
Hide the liquor from your Mom next time. By the way, what was his answer? Are you good in bed? Does he like going down on you? Enquiring minds want to know.