Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said, "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, my boyfriend complained that I "treat him like a child" by asking him if he’s brushed his teeth before we kiss. Gee maybe if he brushed regularly like a fucking adult, I wouldn’t HAVE to ask. FML
Today, I taught my younger cousins a more effective way to brush their teeth. Tonight when I was getting them ready for bed, I asked them why they weren't brushing their teeth like I taught them to. The littlest one replied, "Daddy said if we do then we'll have ugly teeth like yours." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit randy, so when my boyfriend got home, I jumped on him and gave him a proper deep-tongue kiss. I noticed he tasted a bit weird, so I asked him when he last brushed his teeth. His answer: the day we had dinner with his mother. That was two weeks ago. FML
Today, my son has been talking strangely all day so I asked if he was OK. He told me he gave his girlfriend oral for the first time and while trying to “get her there” he went at it so hard, he got tongue cramp, and it still hurts so it’s making him talk weird. As a mom, TMI son. FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I realized I have to ask my husband if he’s brushed his teeth for the day the same way I have to ask our 5, 7 and 8 year-old children. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
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Top comments
tzemmy 25
how old is your son? I hope you had a separate conversation about what he said
katieemerr 15
I couldn't disagree more.. Firstly, oral hygiene is no joke and the son should definitely be taking more care of his teeth. Secondly, OP has listed this under the 'kids' category; that makes me think the son is under legal age for sex. He can't even look after his teeth, I doubt he is mature enough to handle sex..
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Comments (85)
qdawg06 23
I hope he's not getting head from anyone if that's the only time he likes to clean himself up down there. And I also hope he starts to brush his teeth..
PenguinBitch 44
If he doesn't know what oral hygiene means, then he's too young and stupid to do what he's doing.
4funzies 13
How old is this kid? Geeze.
KittyHawkMarch 29
That's so awkward!
Mc2013 18
I don't think any girl that gives a shit about hygiene would be sucking the **** of someone who's breath smells like asshole.
HJKM_fml 19
Looks like you need to have a different kind of talk with him.
DariaTrent 6
Someone has manners ✌️ we still have hope in this world ...not
captainsmegma 12
Both are important. A clean mouth and a clean dick will take you places.
DenverTyrrell 13
Ha ha ha at least he knows that, but I don't think he will need to worry about down there because I'm sure no girls want a guy with bad breath
JuzReading 23
Don't worry about it. Let him find out the hard way of not brushing his teeth. Sooner or later people will start to pick up on his bad breath and gross teeth. After that, hopefully he'll get the idea.
glabberfasted 16
After he loses half his teeth...
Tinad01 12
Part of being a parent is to teach your kids those things before they begin to get made fun of by their peers..