Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said, "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, my boyfriend complained that I "treat him like a child" by asking him if he’s brushed his teeth before we kiss. Gee maybe if he brushed regularly like a fucking adult, I wouldn’t HAVE to ask. FML
Today, I taught my younger cousins a more effective way to brush their teeth. Tonight when I was getting them ready for bed, I asked them why they weren't brushing their teeth like I taught them to. The littlest one replied, "Daddy said if we do then we'll have ugly teeth like yours." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit randy, so when my boyfriend got home, I jumped on him and gave him a proper deep-tongue kiss. I noticed he tasted a bit weird, so I asked him when he last brushed his teeth. His answer: the day we had dinner with his mother. That was two weeks ago. FML
Today, my son has been talking strangely all day so I asked if he was OK. He told me he gave his girlfriend oral for the first time and while trying to “get her there” he went at it so hard, he got tongue cramp, and it still hurts so it’s making him talk weird. As a mom, TMI son. FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I realized I have to ask my husband if he’s brushed his teeth for the day the same way I have to ask our 5, 7 and 8 year-old children. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
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Top comments
tzemmy 25
how old is your son? I hope you had a separate conversation about what he said
katieemerr 15
I couldn't disagree more.. Firstly, oral hygiene is no joke and the son should definitely be taking more care of his teeth. Secondly, OP has listed this under the 'kids' category; that makes me think the son is under legal age for sex. He can't even look after his teeth, I doubt he is mature enough to handle sex..
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Comments (85)
stonedfly3 15
Tell him not brushing your teeth can lead to heart attack (there is evidence of this - the buildup of bad bacteria can get into your blood stream if you get gingivitis). Might not change his mind, but it's worth a shot
Niedermayer_20 12
Pathetic Parenting.
martin8337 36
Go? Go where? Tell him there won't be any girls when he becomes toothless.
dustin007 15
Haha kids these days!?
havok747 6
Now tell him that will never happen if he doesn't brush his teeth.
ikindalikeit 1
This... sucks?
SaharaZinc 14
That'd disgusting, plain and simple.
MiaTheMartian 21
At least he's considerate
suznmar 16
How does a guy who won't brush his teeth get a girl to go down on him?
amazing_race190 5
you should be proud of him