Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said, "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, my boyfriend complained that I "treat him like a child" by asking him if he’s brushed his teeth before we kiss. Gee maybe if he brushed regularly like a fucking adult, I wouldn’t HAVE to ask. FML
Today, I taught my younger cousins a more effective way to brush their teeth. Tonight when I was getting them ready for bed, I asked them why they weren't brushing their teeth like I taught them to. The littlest one replied, "Daddy said if we do then we'll have ugly teeth like yours." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit randy, so when my boyfriend got home, I jumped on him and gave him a proper deep-tongue kiss. I noticed he tasted a bit weird, so I asked him when he last brushed his teeth. His answer: the day we had dinner with his mother. That was two weeks ago. FML
Today, my son has been talking strangely all day so I asked if he was OK. He told me he gave his girlfriend oral for the first time and while trying to “get her there” he went at it so hard, he got tongue cramp, and it still hurts so it’s making him talk weird. As a mom, TMI son. FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I realized I have to ask my husband if he’s brushed his teeth for the day the same way I have to ask our 5, 7 and 8 year-old children. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
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Top comments
tzemmy 25
how old is your son? I hope you had a separate conversation about what he said
katieemerr 15
I couldn't disagree more.. Firstly, oral hygiene is no joke and the son should definitely be taking more care of his teeth. Secondly, OP has listed this under the 'kids' category; that makes me think the son is under legal age for sex. He can't even look after his teeth, I doubt he is mature enough to handle sex..
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Comments (85)
GnaR_KiLL5150 12
Even if that's all he takes away from that conversation, it was still a good talk
Comments2010 17
Now we wait for another FML about the next talk...
jthmtwin 16
Teeth aside at least he has the courtesy to wash there before a girl goes down. Many don't :/
jdcg116 10
O_o. Well at least his gf won't smell his breath and run away.
jdcg116 10
Let me tell you bout the birds and the bees and the flossing of your teeth......
SystemofaBlink41 27
This would be a double FML if OP's son is a kid.
saralynnee132 10
If he doesn't know what oral hygiene is, he's too young for you bro
Artemishuntress 8
you'd think he knew what the word hygiene ment if he knew about oral but nope
DoubleDosexo 12
that was more personal hygiene than oral, nice confusion on your son's side.
medholdmaam 4
This story doesn't make since without an age. Therefore since it is sexual I believe you deserve it.
HeheImAKitty 7
Your grammar doesn't make SENSE either.