Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, I bit into a barbecue-ed corn cob, forgetting I had a filling on my chipped front tooth. I re-chipped it. FML
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Top comments
tigerisabelle 31
I hate to be an American stereotype, but I would sue. That shit's nasty and dangerous
teacupofsunshine 29
Put it under your pillow and trick the tooth fairy! super gross though. I just hate the feeling of biting on something unexpectingly hard.
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Comments (55)
fushengyuan 20
It would fyl more if its yours?
cantfixme36 28
Is it really worse to you to lose a tooth than to find a stranger's tooth in your mouth/food?
deepan_dsouza 12
remember Life of Pi? he finds a tooth of a dead soldier in a flower.
hardcorepunk87 18
Reading this made me cringe :$
winecrab 7
Some bagels/bread have some really hard seeds that look/feel like a piece of tooth. If it was an actual tooth contact the company. They're not going to want you to sue so I'm sure they'd be willing to give you a settlement. I've always wanted something like this to happen to me.
IWillEatYouAlive 16
Oh, god, that's gross
sunflower_seal 17
That's disgusting. Unsanitary and really what the **** worthy. Notify the health inspectors , hopefully you can save an innocent victim before it's too late
Kitouran 30
While she definitely should tell someone of authority, you make it sound like she caught some new disease and is dying a slow, painful death.
TabooSushi 24
Oh ew. I hope you saved the tooth for evidence and notified the shop AND health inspectors for your city. That's so nasty. I would have immediately barfed.
sjb_2015 20
Find a tooth in your onion bagel? Better call Saul!
rebeccacmlc 22
Oh god that's absolutely disgusting ... If it is a tooth, it's not only gross but unhygienic, and you should at least notify the company !
seemetrot_fml 16
I want to know how that even got in there... Post a follow up OP when you've got the info!
samlovesham1234 9
Same here!
Helldemon 32
Child labor in the factories? Only thing I can think of honestly.