Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, I bit into a barbecue-ed corn cob, forgetting I had a filling on my chipped front tooth. I re-chipped it. FML
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Top comments
tigerisabelle 31
I hate to be an American stereotype, but I would sue. That shit's nasty and dangerous
teacupofsunshine 29
Put it under your pillow and trick the tooth fairy! super gross though. I just hate the feeling of biting on something unexpectingly hard.
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Comments (55)
22IrishGirl22 16
Oh my good god.... I would probably vomit.
MadJessTic 29
That's just nasty!! I hope wherever you bought it from compensated you.... Although I don't think they would be willing to pay for psych help long enough to get over that!
cantfixme36 28
I hear about things like this happening way too often... What, do food factory workers just lose teeth on a regular basis? Are they children growing their adult teeth?
Sharall 10
Ew, just, ew.
sighlifeman 12
*vomits*
xMaeLA 24
Well... I used to love onion bagels.
R_L_Jack 11
We went on a trip, stopped at a restaurant in Overland Park Kansas, My husband ordered a pasta dish. At some point he bit on something hard. It was a metal piece of wire, made him bleed. The manager rushed over and said a piece of pasta basket broke off, said we could eat or drink anything we wanted for free. We ate dessert and drank until they closed. No lawsuit and good memories. The worst part was that the manager picked up the bloody piece of wire with a bare hand. Yuck, luckily my husband has no gross diseases.