Today, I was riding my motorcycle when I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. Out of anger, I spat my gum at her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into some bushes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I sneezed inside my helmet when I was driving 90 mph on my motorbike. No quick solutions were available to improve visibility. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I egged my cheating ex’s car. Actually, I should clarify; I egged my cheating ex’s sister’s car, thinking it was his. She gave me a black eye and knocked out two of my teeth while my ex laughed his ass off. FML
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Top comments
IndigoKitty 3
You wanted to spit your gum at your ex-wife? YDI for being so immature
SomeonePosting 0
Immaturity aside, how do you forget your visor is down?
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Comments (100)
irishdubr 0
Way to hold a grudge...man u sure showed her. Ass
Fett 0
so same sex marriages have their issues too huh?
Einstein714 0
helmet laws suck and your an idiot, YDI
LittleGigiK 0
YDI, spitting gum at someone is a nasty thing to do, even if she was your ex wife.
midwestjerk 0
YDI for trying to spit gum at her. You should have run the **** over, even though you were on a motorcycle. The crunch as you hit her would have been awesome.
bladesandtears 0
Actually, depending on the weather at the time (and the experience of the OP) this is possible. I also ride a motorcycle, and here, in the winter, my face shield fogs at the slightest moisture. I have to treat it regularly so that I can continue to ride. It’s possible that the moisture of the gum and the spit fogged over the face shield, impairing the OP's vision. What it comes down to OP is this: trying to spit gum at someone while riding is dangerous and stupid, and you’re lucky you didn’t kill yourself or someone else. YDI; grow up or sell your bike.
kukopia 0
FAIL Lie Fail FML Fail Fail period. Obviouse Lie. A piece of gum would not block your vision. I've sneezed snot all over the inside of my full-face helmet shield and it stays below the field of vision (I couldn't read my speedometer w/o tipping my head way down...) Your mouth and eyes aren't that close to each other. A single piece of gum could NEVER block both your eyes. Retort fail for spitting gum 'toward' anyone, like that's ever gonna work. She obviously cheated on you because you're a douche-failure. Work harder on your next whine for attention.
Chuffy 0
hahahahaha that's awesome. tard.
Jestre 0
Dumb ****.
rawrchimichangas 0
LOOOOOL you're a loser. (: and ydi... eithier if it's fake or not.