Today, I was riding my motorcycle when I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. Out of anger, I spat my gum at her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into some bushes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I sneezed inside my helmet when I was driving 90 mph on my motorbike. No quick solutions were available to improve visibility. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I egged my cheating ex’s car. Actually, I should clarify; I egged my cheating ex’s sister’s car, thinking it was his. She gave me a black eye and knocked out two of my teeth while my ex laughed his ass off. FML
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Top comments
IndigoKitty 3
You wanted to spit your gum at your ex-wife? YDI for being so immature
SomeonePosting 0
Immaturity aside, how do you forget your visor is down?
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Comments (100)
vampirate 0
there are hicks in london?
Ipreferbroccoli 0
Seriously? A perfect example? People who spit deserve to die? Wow. It's like your natural habitat's bubblewrap. If Nostradamus was right, you'll probably die too. No time to bask in the terror, sorry.
Nightfallz 0
she's an ex for a reason. get over it already. ydi. also can you explain how you were blinded by a piece of gum? this fml sounds fake.
Nightfallz 0
this has to be fake there is no way you can be blinded by a stick of gum.
SimpleSimon 0
I call BS in a big way here. How could you spit gum and have it stick to your visor in a position to blind you? And why would you not open the visor so you could see even if it did?? Most helmets, there's simply no way this could happen.
AntiChrist7 0
"The reason why crash helmets are small is because people who wear them haven't got a brain. Otherwise they'd have a car." Jeremey Clarkson
tikimuppet 11
top gear wins =D
musu_fml 0
I ride a motorcycle, and my experience leads me also to call BS on this one. Just as #34 says, it's highly unlikely you'd be able to spit gum onto the visor in pretty much any full or half-face helmet; the visor simply does not extend down that far. Anyone who has ever worn a helmet for a few seconds would realise this. And as #22 said; blinded by a small peice of gum, to the point where an accident happens? I really don't think so. That'd be like crashing your car when a bird craps on your windscreen.
sted_phillups 0
agreed, total BS.
artisticlicense 0
hahahahahahahahaahaha
blahdeblah8392 0
this would've been so much better if it ended with "and she had to call 911"
freddie_fml 0
Good. Maybe now you'll grow the **** up.