Today, I was riding my motorcycle when I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. Out of anger, I spat my gum at her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into some bushes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I sneezed inside my helmet when I was driving 90 mph on my motorbike. No quick solutions were available to improve visibility. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I egged my cheating ex’s car. Actually, I should clarify; I egged my cheating ex’s sister’s car, thinking it was his. She gave me a black eye and knocked out two of my teeth while my ex laughed his ass off. FML
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Top comments
IndigoKitty 3
You wanted to spit your gum at your ex-wife? YDI for being so immature
SomeonePosting 0
Immaturity aside, how do you forget your visor is down?
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Comments (100)
Nixx_has_2_xs 0
I didn't know 8-year-olds could get married and/or ride motorcycles...
EveryDayJackAss 0
meh the OP shouldve just gave her the good old American finger and THEN shake his fast in anger as he heroically faceplants into a nearby bush
sodaxpopxhiccups 0
This made me laugh harder than the OP did. >.>
Imawhalerider 0
start making animal noises in the bush
Pixelle_fml 0
YDI for being that kind of disgusting people who spit their gums... And YDI for being so immature.
Knight05 0
THIS SHIT IS ******* FAKE! Seriously who is BLINDED by ******* gum that is like a cm wide. Get real? This shit is beyond weak and fake you didn't even put any effort into lying you stupid fat mother ******. You deserve no pity, no votes, and may god have mercy on your mother ****** soul.
SpitFyre 0
Lol, someone needs to chill out. "May God have mercy on your soul"? Holy crap.
SuperSpore 0
Some people chew many pieces of gum at a time. OP must be chewing a lot. A LOT.
Tubasaurus 0
derp
Sipos 0
YDI, civilised people don't spit at others.
cocky 0
you are a perfect example of why I hope 99% of humans die in December, 2012. :)
lazorzpewpew 0
99% but you? uh-huh
SoccerForTheWin 5
You look like a complete d-bag in your picture...
decibel_beads 0
ahahaha. you totally deserved it. it's always the little things we forget to do that really screw us, isn't it?
Ipreferbroccoli 0
Hey, at least you're from London. Mind the gap, mind the gap. Mind the bush aswell. Sorry about your ex.