Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML
Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML
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Top comments
jector25 0
That sucks n I would shank them
Maxine17 8
D: That's awful Burn them both.
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Comments (95)
CallMeHush 1
Look at it this way he must have just started banging her, most of us guys don't bother with the full court press if we have been at it a while.
Coly_hrap 0
Bummer.. dump him absolutly or you're weak enough to deserve it repeatedly happening till he gets someone else prego or realizes he's done useing you. Once a cheater always a cheater. Get back by finding someone better and ignoring both of them for several months. Those who are supposed to have your back shouldn't be runnning around behind your back, but now it's time for you to get your own piece of ass. GL
ladiesman14 0
and let me guess your sister cant drive and your mother dropped her off there. this looks like its based on one of the top FMLs ever.
kukopia 0
If him 'lying there' is how he 'gets it on', then I say no big loss. I hope it truely is 'your house', not yours and his. The sister must be mamed if she keeps seeing him. That's in the bible.
perdix 31
YDI for dating a hack that lifts his moves from "American Beauty."
gisselle 0
hahahaha #14 that's what i was gonna say .
OhhandyT 0
it wouldve been better if you joined with them. that way everyone is happy
poeticvibez07 0
DO YOU NEED BAIL MONEY?!?!?!
Byoung1447 0
that a boy
kristidgranger 3
I would leave him and beat her and post flyers about her being a *****
kukopia 0
Post flyers, really? I guess flyers replaced scarlet letters. What next, put on a play in old man Wilson's barn to raise money to send your sister to a school for wayward girls?