Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
Today, I returned home from my honeymoon and met my dad for coffee. He told me he's been seeing someone and he's so happy. It's my new mother-in-law. They moved in together during my wedding weekend. FML
Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML
Today, my wife and I moved into our new place. I'm recovering from back surgery and out of work. To help make up the rent, her boyfriend moved in too. FML
Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML
Today, my new neighbor broke into our new house because his key didn't work. We just closed on the house this week and changed the locks when footprints were found in the bathtub after the cleaning crew went through. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML
Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML
Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML
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Top comments
green_eyes124 0
wow! kind of seems like they should be responsible for buying you new gifts. I can't believe someone wouldn't make absolutely sure that the door to a place where people could've just seen you take a bunch of gifts was locked. it's like going christmas shopping at the mall, taking a handful of gifts to the car, and going back to shop more: the gifts will be gone when you get back. oh well... sorry op : (
LOLatU87 0
OMG kill your step parents!
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Comments (68)
meneedlove 0
Uhm...yeah...welcome back!
CupCakeGirl101 0
how so u know it wasent ur in laws u wrecked everythingg
x_AbyssGazing_x 0
because theres no ******* reason they would?....
ScaryyMary 14
21, what the **** are you trying to say?
zenti 2
I hate it when people don't lock apartment doors. I've had roommates who never did it. I don't understand though, so did the parents have a spare key, or did you guys leave the door unlocked for them?
Sweetest_Cherry 0
Bummer... :-(
green_eyes124 0
wow! kind of seems like they should be responsible for buying you new gifts. I can't believe someone wouldn't make absolutely sure that the door to a place where people could've just seen you take a bunch of gifts was locked. it's like going christmas shopping at the mall, taking a handful of gifts to the car, and going back to shop more: the gifts will be gone when you get back. oh well... sorry op : (
hashmita 0
Atleast you had a great honeymoon! FYL anyway.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Sucks you found out what idiots your wife comes from after the wedding. You better hope your genes are enough to dillute the stupid in your kids.
skyeyez9 25
At least you know to never let her watch your apartment when you are out of town. And don't forget to get your apt keys back from your mil.
miasu 2
Haha, wow, that really sucks. Makes a great story though! Even if you weren't laughing about it at the time, you'll be laughing in years to come. Plus now your in-laws should feel extra obligated to compensate for the rest of your lives together!
starile 20
I don't think this is a laughing matter at all. I would try to.bury that memory and focus on the good, bc looking back on that would only make me cringe and be sad.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Finally, a reason for her to "get back" at her parents for all the times they most likely called HER irresponsible. :P Really though, that's awful! So sorry!