Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML
Today, I was invited by my boyfriend's parents for dinner at their house. The dinner went well I thought, until I was getting ready to leave. Before I could make it out the front door, I could hear them discussing their disappointment that their son would ever consider someone like me. FML
Today, my mum asked when she's getting grandkids. I had to tell her that, at 21 years-old, I hadn't even managed to get a boyfriend yet. FML
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend that she's too good for me, then asking if she really wants to settle for someone like me. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. My dad took one look at him, sighed and said, "You deserve someone better. Someone who is responsible, and has their priorities straight in life." Beyond upset, I told my dad that I love him. My dad disgruntledly responded, "I was talking to him." FML
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
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Top comments
Dallasluver19 14
Nice parents you got there. You should prove them wrong.
plagiarismo 16
Can I, like, buy you some new parents?
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Comments (83)
humangirl3 2
In my experience people say things without meaning them completely! maybe you should take this less seriously.. or take this comment and make something better out of this :) good luck
YourBatteryIsLow 8
I think people don't like to get involved with OP because every time she is around, she blows up a hurricane... May be just me though...
buckeyed 20
Most parents love to make these jokes; remember they've wiped your butt! I'm sure you'll find someone OP.
makkarari 18
As a mom of three girls, I would rather they didn't date... Ever... Well till they r at least 30!!!
WellThatSucked89 13
I feel like maybe the dad said it like "there is not enough money to find someone WORTH my little girl"... but that is just me..
Korra_fml 23
i can just see the next FML to come out of this: "Today, I found out that my girlfriend of several months only got with me to prove she could get someone. FML"
olpally 33
Assholes. Prove them ******* wrong.
rapter_fml 3
u got mean parent
Zelphoric 25
You have nice grammar my friend. Well at least you spelt mean correctly, we're getting somewhere!
foxy_grampa 19
It sounds like they were just joking to me. I'm in the same sort of situation you are, I would just take it as a joke because that's how I am. Very sarcastic
martin8337 36
OP, sometimes being with someone isn't what it's cracked up to be. There isn't anything wrong with having friends with benefits, if that's your thing.
TordNorski 30
Never dated anyone either. I don't think it's because I'm a loser but because I haven't found anyone I want to date yet.
martin8337 36
#26, Don't care about dating, just sex.