Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML
Today, I was invited by my boyfriend's parents for dinner at their house. The dinner went well I thought, until I was getting ready to leave. Before I could make it out the front door, I could hear them discussing their disappointment that their son would ever consider someone like me. FML
Today, my mum asked when she's getting grandkids. I had to tell her that, at 21 years-old, I hadn't even managed to get a boyfriend yet. FML
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend that she's too good for me, then asking if she really wants to settle for someone like me. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. My dad took one look at him, sighed and said, "You deserve someone better. Someone who is responsible, and has their priorities straight in life." Beyond upset, I told my dad that I love him. My dad disgruntledly responded, "I was talking to him." FML
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
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Top comments
Dallasluver19 14
Nice parents you got there. You should prove them wrong.
plagiarismo 16
Can I, like, buy you some new parents?
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Comments (83)
ariellove1992 8
I would of came in and said, " I charge a minimum $100 for a night"
chosha_fml 27
When you do get a boyfriend one day, don't introduce him to your parents. Who knows what asshole thing they might say.
caver1 14
I need a girlfriend
RedDragonx32 8
Sorry OP. I'm sure they were only joking but yes that's really mean of them. Don't worry about what anybody has to say. It's your life not theirs. U will find someone.
LostprophetBons 4
:) It's okay they have to pay for the wedding laugh at them then
nopasanada 3
ur parents are the best....at least honest im guessing
143amandaott 10
I would have walked in on then and been like..." You guys need to learn how to whisper...I could hear your whole conversation" and then walk out
wobbles69 5
Your parents sound like ass holes...
NyLibra26 8
Damn, you know it's a problem when both your parents think they can't even pay someone to date you.lol
ninabrown 6
oh, dont worry, smday ull find him for free