Today, my girlfriend and I were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint. She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12-inch ham sub. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML
Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at dinner, which would’ve been nice if we hadn’t been dating for only two months, and dinner was at Subway. FML
Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML
Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML
Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
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Top comments
BussellRishop 0
should have gotten the meatball marinara, then it's worth it.
hsdffk 0
....sigh yeh thats kind of sad not gonna lie... maybe yur ham wasnt good enough for her
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Comments (132)
jessicasquash 0
you probably deserved it if that was your first reaction.
sugar__tits 0
at least she didn't make you pay.
MCofpwnage 0
Wow...your girlfriend is so mature...fail
AJComix 0
I hate to say it, but this was literally done before, on this site. Turkey last time though.
kelther 0
pretty sure it wasn't because of a ham sandwich
Beesh 0
Look, short buss clan, the VIEWERS moderate. Hence the "Moderate the FMLs" at the top of your screen.
anonymousemous 0
My girlfriend and I... If you're not going to say "Me was buying..." then you need to use "I". Please people. This is stuff they should have taught you in grade school.
Niasyn 0
That's cold, like your sandwich.
idrivefast 0
I'd do that, as a joke. Not so much of a break up line
ammali 0
Well, that's a lame way to break up with someone. What a bitch :o