Today, my girlfriend and I were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint. She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12-inch ham sub. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML
Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at dinner, which would’ve been nice if we hadn’t been dating for only two months, and dinner was at Subway. FML
Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML
Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML
Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
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Top comments
BussellRishop 0
should have gotten the meatball marinara, then it's worth it.
hsdffk 0
....sigh yeh thats kind of sad not gonna lie... maybe yur ham wasnt good enough for her
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Comments (132)
BenignScientists 0
One one or another man, don't dwell on it and move on. This will likely happen again, much less peacefully at that.
nateiztite 5
girls just want to have lunch man
darebear331 4
At least it wasnt a six inch sub.
SoccerForTheWin 5
YDI for not saying together and paying instantly
hsdffk 0
....sigh yeh thats kind of sad not gonna lie... maybe yur ham wasnt good enough for her
ZleveL 0
or maybe she had bad buns
toxicxflower 0
nice puns. (haha that rhymed!)
dyld921 2
Don't feel too bad. I'm pretty sure she's just a fat bitch who's obsessed with eating. JK. You deserve someone better.
Killuhk 8
A lot of break ups happen over 12 inches of meat hahaha
BenignScientists 0
One way one or another man, don't dwell on it and move on. This will likely happen again, much less peacefully at that. (sorry about the double post, too late to edit, too ambiguous to leave be)
BussellRishop 0
should have gotten the meatball marinara, then it's worth it.
Jimboom 12
She is a bitch! the least she could have done was to buy you that 12" On her part though maybe you are known as something of a drama queen which is why she decided to do it in such a public place. Either way just sit back, enjoy the meaty goodness of your Sub and don't worry. Be happy.
Dukedj 0
I would have gone with the sweet onion chicken teriyaki. I agree with #6.
rauj13 0
YDI for getting ham. BMT is a real sandwhich.
TheLetterZero 7
You were buying Subway? Man, you must be rich!
TheDoge 0
Agreed w/ #8. YDI for getting Ham. I used to get that when I was 8. Italian Herbs and Cheese, toasted w/ cheddar and Chicken fillet, with the lot of salad, salt, pepper, oregano and Mayonnaise or sweet chilli.