Deflection
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, things were going great with my girlfriend of six months. She knew I had kids and it seemed to be getting serious, so I decided to introduce her to them. After dinner, I walked her to her car and she said, "That’s real nice but what are you going to do with them once you and I have kids?" FML
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML
Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
Today, I asked my husband if we could start talking about kids. He said sure, so we talked about kids. Then I asked if we could maybe start trying to have kids, and he said, “Absolutely fucking not, are you mad? What’s wrong with you?” FML
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
Today, my wife and I have been in the same massive argument for two weeks. We agreed when we were dating that we couldn’t think of anything worse than having kids, we married on the basis we would never want kids. Now, a year later, she wants a baby. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
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Top comments
supimnyancat 9
Didn't you talk to her about that matter before you married her?
Ajwc101 24
Maybe adopt? She may just not want go thru labour.
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Comments (84)
supimnyancat 9
Didn't you talk to her about that matter before you married her?
egc573 40
Or during the past 5 years of their marriage? That seems like a pretty big topic to avoid.
ebonyirony 29
Why wait 5 years to find out?
ydi_4_suking 20
Maybe something happened or changed in OP to want kids now. People can change their minds about stuff after years pass by
yahoowizard 16
Maybe it took him five years before he started to want kids
Bekll 31
Maybe they married young/were busy (e.g., schooling).
mylifesucks_fml 1
maybe it's because she likes her body and doesn't want it to look like crap after having a baby. ask if there's a possibility of adoption or just ask why she doesn't want kids.
AussieChild 22
Even if they married young, doesn't change the fact that it's important to discuss children before marriage. My fiancé and I are both 20, and will be getting married in 3 months. We both don't want children until we are 26 or have a house. It's one of those things you discuss in a relationship- no matter the age or current situation
ManInTheMachine 20
86- If she doesn't want her body look like crap after having a child, then she can hit the gym whenever she can find the time. I know you were just mentioning a possibility, but that's a pretty lame excuse not to have a baby.
tmmundy 17
97...I agree, I have two grown girls (20/23). When I first got pregnant I weighed 105, it took work, but I'm back and have been, at 110 lbs. Sounds like op's wife may not want children at all.
Calyx_fml 22
Good. One less consumer to pollute the planet.
LolFMLnot 10
Just ask her why she doesn't want any kids, and solve the problem. Find a way that she won't mind having kids. Even adoption is a good choice, your giving a child parents that they deserve.
DjeePee 25
"86- If she doesn't want her body look like crap after having a child, then she can hit the gym whenever she can find the time." My mom's hair changed thanks to labor... From dark blond curls to flat brown hair. Just sayin'.
juunebug 2
97 - it doesn't sound like you have children, lol.
J_Shorty_17 6
hair doesn't change from labor lmao. You do know that hair colour will change as someone grows up. Some children can be born with blonde hair and grow up to have black hair when they are adults. My aunt is like that and she's never had kids.
JMTS 0
Hair does change from labor. Look it up.
tbenson0628 14
wow lol #1 took the words right outta my thoughts.
OverBlossomed 22
No, it's not. Some women's bodies never recover. And there are much more lame excuses TO have a baby than not to.
raraisbang 12
Not all women have body changes. A good friend of mine has 3 kids and you can't even tell she's had children. She has no stretch marks, is in a size 2, and has beautiful abs. Plus, children are a blessing. I didn't want children at all, ever. My pregnancy was absolutely accidental, but my son is amazing and I wouldn't go back and not have him even if I could. I know to each his/her own, I'm just saying that children aren't as bad as some of you make them, and the process of having them, out to be.
OverBlossomed 22
If children were a blessing for you, that's great. But it depends. For some, children are a blessing. For others, children are a curse! Look at all the children who are abused or even killed at the hands of their parents. Clearly, those are people for whom children were not only a curse, but they shouldn't have had them to begin with. As for children not being as bad as we seem to think, again, that depends on the person. There are parents who admit (anonymously online) that they regret their children, hate parenting and would not do it again if they could go back. To sum it up: it all depends.
Migole 36
I wondered about that as well o.o I'm 20 and have been with my current boyfriend for almost a year and he is the first one I might consider having kids with. But not before I'm 25 and he thinks the same. We've talked numorous times about this topic. We even sorted out what last name and denomination they should have =P I can't imagine being married to someone for years and avoiding this topic all the time o.o
beccaishereyay 11
Or cat :)
redpickle 1
I'm more of an iguana person myself
Sinamoi 18
I prefer my ostrich.
theten_fml 9
Running hippos is where it's at
LadyGore 12
Llamas ^_^ They will spit on your enemies!
TheDrifter 24
Polar bear. They're big, fluffy and fond of hugs.
Jordanln97 9
Chinchillas might also suffice.
ShyAnn29 15
Or a monkey!
lijahhh 4
Heyyyyyy
evilplatypus 39
Screw all y'all. Platypuses are the best.
RaggleFrock 13
Hamsters are the best :p
LightningCactus 12
I prefer my macaw.
truth_spitta 0
Wookies are the best. Conversation over. >:D
teague95 16
I love my pet cactus. although he can be a prick at times
TheVelocirabbit 10
I love my pet, Rocky. He's a little slow at tines, but he's a great listener!
TheVelocirabbit 10
Crap, *times. My joke is now ruined
1crabbygirl 10
That's not what ruined it.
nado13579 12
What about bunnies? :D
dsbs 9
No one has mentioned penguins yet? What about sloths
aimeesea75 16
SLOTHS *-*
cyndiig 2
20-They also love Coca-Cola
gracevet88 0
Good dogs>cats, but dogs can be mean and do can cats. They all have different personalities
JordonMuzza 0
Lol
Ajwc101 24
Maybe adopt? She may just not want go thru labour.
OhDearBetrayal 25
Getting a surrogate would solve that problem.
unknown_user5566 27
As would adoption, like #5 already stated.
OhDearBetrayal 25
57- I'm just saying that adoption isn't the only option.
N3766 20
Yes, adopt a dog :p
jaredofmo 22
Excellent point. He might want the joys of raising children, but she probably doesn't want the pain of carrying babies.
DjeePee 25
Or, she may not want children because she simply does not want children. I don't think there are many women who let the pain of labor stop them from having offspring. There are better reasons, you know. I don't want children because 1) I love the way I'm living right now. 2) I do not want to let something change my life forever. 3) I do not want a lifetime responsibility for them. 4) I don't have any motherly feelings at all. 5) I'm way too self-centered to be a decent mother. 6) I don't want my boyfriend to love something more than me. 7) ... 8) I do not want to endure the pain of being pregnant/labor. This is the second 'my wife doesn't want children'-FML. Makes me sad. Not only for the OP's and their wives, but because I fear my boyfriend will once write this FML. He wants children. He doesn't even know why, he just wants them. He is well aware that I have a different opinion, but he ignores it, thinking that once my mind will change. But if it doesn't....FML.
rcgirl2 11
Or maybe she wants the dog so she won't have to change diapers or deal with waking up in the middle of the night trying to tend to the baby.
OverBlossomed 22
If he tries to pressure you into having children and you know with certainty that you don't want any, I think you need to end things with him. Rarely does that situation work out.
Objectofdespair 1
That awkward monent when your bitch says to get a bitch
IsAbElLiCiA20 6
Um, what?.. ^
chimocho 8
Good try I guess? I thought it was funny.
OhDearBetrayal 25
35- Bitch doesn't only mean a rude and obnoxious female. It also just means a woman. (In today's slang, that is)
boofgall 16
52- Actually, it means a negative meaning for a woman, and the name for a female dog. It's not just "a woman".
SamanthaCassieL 10
Actually, my bfs mom from Jamaica called women bitches without being angry. It is a slang term, depending on where you're coming from it has either a neutral or negative meaning.
KiddNYC1O 22
The way I took #6's comment is the way #52 explained. Not saying is okay to do so, though.
Lilwolfyyy 0
I hate awkward monents...
The_F3rris 11
You must be a virgin
chessdude 8
Bitch - Female dog. I thought that was pretty funny
hannaaaahr 33
Wow, that sucks, well, I guess dogs are fun too!
OhDearBetrayal 25
So, many, commas, can't, read, without, pausing, you're, such, a, grammar, Nazi, troll.
ChickInGreenVans 12
Maybe he's having an asthma attack..
xStaciexLynnx 15
Despite the commas I got through the comment and would like to point out people dont just have children because they're 'fun' like a dog. They're also a huge responsibility and at least 18 years of direct care.
aleeshttylXD 9
There's only 2 commas, #53
inarsla 8
*3
raraisbang 12
75, actually I stopped needing direct care at around 9, when I could successfully cook my own meals, get myself up and dressed for school, ha been independently using the potty for years, etc. the only thing I required of my parents was new clothes on occasion, and for them to purchase the food I ate. Just an FYI - kids don't need DIRECT care until they are 18, and technically they can get a job at 16 usually and cut out most financial care, leaving you solely with the responsibility of housing them. I personally wanted, and got a job at 16 and paid for my own things, food included. True, not everyone is like this, but it technically is possible. :D
DoubleCross 9
Kids aren't so fun after a couple days. Your life will change forever, but partly in a good way.
DoubleCross 9
*Mostly. Sorry I'm in the app.
SarcasticUnicorn 9
I thought the first days were supposed to be Hell though. Don't worry OP, women usually ( but not always) change their minds about it as their age increases.
hardehar 9
I didn't change my mind, and I certainly made sure my fiancé knew my thoughts on the matter before we got serious!
LGFUADnow 12
You should name the dog after your wife.
LadyGore 12
Dogs a better anyways (usually)
citymayer 7
I mostly agree. I mean.. It depends on which ones quieter and poops less.
tklone329 0
Smart lady :]