Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was supposed to wash my wife's underwear, then go to work and interview a new educator at 10.30am. I ended up smoking weed, getting stoned, and sitting in my car at 11.00am at a McDonald's. I'm now sitting at my desk and still high as fuck. FML
Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night to make me help my brother write an essay. I read what he wrote so far, gave him my suggestions, and went back to bed. She woke me up 30 mins later because he just sat and stared at his paper instead of fixing anything. Somehow that's my fault. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Today, I submitted a poem for my English class. I had fun writing it, so I wrote a second which was not nearly as good. My procrastinator of a friend never did his, so I gave him my extra poem. Mine was given a 75% while "his" received a 93%. FML
Today, after being sick all day with the flu, I asked my husband to wash the dishes after I went to bed. He said he couldn't because he had a large, important project for work that needed to get done. I woke up a couple of hours later to find him smoking weed on the couch and watching cartoons. FML
Today, I turned in an essay after staying up late to work on it. I was away when the teacher assigned it, so I'd asked my friend what the subject was. It transpires that she'd given me the wrong one, all because she was mad at me for not returning her pencil. FML
Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML
Today, I pulled an all-nighter to finish an essay. I submitted it one minute before the deadline. Later, I opened the file to double-check and realized I'd uploaded my rough draft, containing notes like “THIS PART MAKES NO SENSE, FIX LATER.” The professor then replied, “I agree with your assessments.” FML
Today, I realized I forgot to write a 5000 word essay for my English class. I tried to be calm since I had until midnight to finish, and it was only 8pm. I typed for three hours straight,and finished the assignment. I read over the instruction again, and realized it only had to be 500 words. FML
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Top comments
giantsfan2010 23
Some people are just naturally better at writing than others. Don't beat yourself up about it OP.
gosh_mate 30
Don't give up! Education can be stressful, but you aren't doing any good by comparing yourself to others. His paper may read better, but yours could contain the information your professor is after.
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Comments (53)
SkullsRules1 26
Sometimes people excel in certain areas, you may be better then your roommate in other areas
Chilled_Rambo 11
Can he teach me his ways? But don't worry OP, his paper may turn out to be not that good. He was stoned after all
aussie99 3
well, he can get ******...... oh, wait.......
newburton13 26
Shakespeare smoked pot. Who knows what you're capable of on that stuff.
koganti 18
why would you even compare with your roommate? don't think less about yourself...everyone has their uniqueness in their own way ... do your best till the end ...that's it.
baxwar 15
Smoke a bit of weed next time then
julianna5782 12
that was me and my roommate. I was the stoned girl, getting easy good grades. she used to get SO PISSED!!!!
LunaRebirth 7
okay
vikky538 29
Keep your hopes high professors might like your essay
laden_swallow09 35
But is his any good, though?
icares_fml 11
You and your roommate should just go get some white castle burgers!