Today, after being sick all day with the flu, I asked my husband to wash the dishes after I went to bed. He said he couldn't because he had a large, important project for work that needed to get done. I woke up a couple of hours later to find him smoking weed on the couch and watching cartoons. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML
Today, due to an emergency, I have worked for 21 hours non stop. When I got home at 6 a.m. I fell into bed and stuck to the sheets. Only then, just as he was going to work, did my husband yell up the stairs that the sheets needed washing because he spilled his cough medicine all over the bed when he woke up. FML
Today, I was supposed to wash my wife's underwear, then go to work and interview a new educator at 10.30am. I ended up smoking weed, getting stoned, and sitting in my car at 11.00am at a McDonald's. I'm now sitting at my desk and still high as fuck. FML
Today, while my husband and I were cleaning out a closet, he went outside to throw out some trash. He was taking a long time to return and I went to make sure he was OK. He was in the living room watching TV instead of helping me. FML
Today, my husband was home past his usual departure time for work, so I pointedly asked if he would be late. He said he called out sick. I stared at him, wide-eyed in disbelief, as he said he "wanted to relax in the yard with a book." He's completely lost his mind. FML
Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML
Today, I came home to pizza boxes piled high, dirty laundry everywhere, and a sink full of roaches, but all I did was smoke a bowl and turn the Switch on. My boyfriend and I have let our lives fall apart ever since our state legalized weed. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML
Today, after a full shift at work, I got home to my boyfriend playing CoD, a full sink, crap all over the table, a full cat box, dirty bathroom, no laundry done and the kids at my parents' house. He yelled at me because the place was a mess. FML
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Top comments
Kuibe 18
I guess you can use the same excuse when he's sick now and if he objects bring up this.
gosh_mate 30
Go on strike! You shouldn't even be around food/dishes if you're still contagious.
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Comments (62)
destructe 5
Was it robot chicken? :p
EvilTurtle 35
No it was weed
lolhailsatan 23
No, this is Patrick
NippyGee 7
robot chicken ******* sucks
orios105 18
what a jerk, you're sick for Pete sakes. lol couldn't take some time to do the dishes. smh.
Hipnog 15
Cartoons are important business, ma'am.
Fr0gs 15
Especially if its south parks new episode last night ...
Kuibe 18
I guess you can use the same excuse when he's sick now and if he objects bring up this.
xxkrystalxx 14
Im getting the feeling he doesnt do chores so I feel like if he was sick she would still be doing all the work anyways.
vikky538 29
Or may be when he calls for sex
Kuibe 18
Valid point #22 that actually didn't even come across my mind but but you may be right, hopefully he does do some chores at least. And #49 your idea is like 20x better than mine nice suggestion!
drayloon 50
This is how studying for finals works in college
hugoni2000 20
What exactly is that kind of job called? Never heard of it
Lalala579121 28
Well someone has to make sure Cartoon Network still shows good stuff.
DeltaDragonxx 20
#34 I'll save anyone the trouble. It doesn't.
fakedsincerity 32
Adventure Time, tho!
imStoneCold 7
I want a job like that.
everythingelena 28
aw man, i feel bad because you're sick and instead of doing a nice thing for you, your husband decides to just smoke weed and watch cartoons.Feel better OP!
Rei_Ayanami 18
Forgive me if I am just not understanding since English is not my first language, but I have what may seem like a silly question. Why basically repeat the FML in your comment with adding that you feel sorry for them? Is it not implied that is what you meant when you said you felt sorry for them? What else is there to feel that way about? I apologize if this comes across as rude, I do not mean for it to, I just do not understand and would like to. Thank you for understanding. :)
PhoenixChick 26
#8 added in what the husband SHOULD be doing on his own, which is doing something nice for the OP. That was not in the original post. It contrasts even more what society thinks a loving spouse would do, with the husbands actual failure to fulfill a simple request. That makes the comment even more in support of the OP, and highlights that the husband is really even more of a jerk.
TheLastCenturion 19
Is he a weed tester? Because if so, he's doing a fantastic job.
hellnosucka 27
Obviously, his large project is a groundbreaking research on the effects of weed on cartoon animations.