Today, two years after marrying my fun, adventurous fiancée, she's turned into a whiny, nagging bore. Date nights are now "eat leftovers and watch reality TV nights" and sex is once a month, with her asking, "Are you about to finish? Are you almost done?" the whole way through. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML
Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML
Today, my fiancé of two years told me he was bored of me and he'd just prolonged the engagement to see if anyone more interesting would come along in the mean time. He was upset because no one did. FML
Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML
Today, after seven years of marriage to a guy almost four years younger then me, he looks and acts like an old fart. He would rather watch TV than have intimacy with me. He can't even last longer than two minutes when we have sex, which ends up always leaving me frustrated and unsatisfied. FML
Today, it's been almost 3 years since my wife has wanted sex, and I get turned down every time I ask. Even when I insist on a romantic date night, we just sit with no idea what to say to each other. How did we drift so far apart? The only thing keeping us together is the mortgage and the cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he becomes a boring version of himself whenever we are together. FML
Today, I told my wife it hurt my feelings when she said our wild, fun days are behind us. She retorted, “Yeah you’re right. Our very carefully planned out once a year kid-free outing is sooooo wild and crazy.” FML
Today, according to my wife, our life together is perfect. The only problem is that I no longer turn her on, haven’t for a while, so she wants my permission to have meaningless one-night stands with strangers on Tinder while carrying on with our perfect, sexless married life together. FML
Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML
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Top comments
sdj215 22
If you don’t have kids, you really should consider if this is what you want for the rest of your life because you can still get out. If you have kids, you should really consider if you want this life for yourself, because you can still get out and be happy.
Wadlaen 24
Sounds like you need a serious talk about if this is something that both of you really want to keep up, and if so if there's any way that you can improve the experience for both of you, bringing you back to what you started with.
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Comments (7)
Wadlaen 24
Sounds like you need a serious talk about if this is something that both of you really want to keep up, and if so if there's any way that you can improve the experience for both of you, bringing you back to what you started with.
Vexillum 5
I hold the belief you don't really know someone until you've lived with them for a couple years. I sense a taxing, but needed, conversation is forthcoming.
core01 30
lol You're shitty at sex.
Lost Reggie 22
Once a month?! Dude, that's practically a nympho compared with my ex-wife.All I got was the reality TV, leftovers, and whining.
sdj215 22
If you don’t have kids, you really should consider if this is what you want for the rest of your life because you can still get out. If you have kids, you should really consider if you want this life for yourself, because you can still get out and be happy.
FluffythePink 23
You two need marriage counselling.
Rspfamily3 3
did you keep the receipt??? its still under warranty mang