Today, my husband told me that the only reason he took up jogging 4 years ago was because my mother moved in next door to us and he knew it would kill my sex drive. We haven’t had sex in 4 years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Today, my mother-in-law berated me for not being pregnant yet, so I yelled at her that since she guilted us into letting her move into our house, she never goes out, our bedrooms share a wall, and she has the hearing of a bat, none of which helps me or my husband have any sexy time. It’s been 4 months FML
Today, I found out my husband is sleeping with someone else, all because we haven’t had sex in a long time. He says, “Jerking off is too much work” and “I signed up to marry a human with a sex drive, not an emotionless robot.” He left out the fact that I’m grieving my mother’s death. Thanks for the support, Honey. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, after 5 years of marriage, my once-gym-mad husband is now so unfit that even standard missionary sex makes him so breathless and light headed, he has to stop in case he passes out. He hasn’t given me an orgasm in over a year and yet he insists nothing's wrong with him, and that I’m just being mean. FML
Today, after years of my husband letting himself go and our sex life dying a slow, painful death, he's finally gotten my hints and started exercising and eating right, and he looks amazing. But now he has no sex drive and says, "I'm getting older, there are more important things to me than busting nuts all day!" FML
Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML
Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML
Today, after my husband told me he doesn't enjoy having sex unless he initiates it, my mother-in-law barged into my bedroom only to find me pleasing myself. FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Back in my day, "jogging" meant running at a slow pace for exercise. Seems to have a new meaning these days. Looks like it means ritual masturbation or wandering the neighborhood trolling for horny housewives.
sherri_baby88 36
The wife lost her sex drive because the mother moved in next door. Not the husband's fault. He's jogging to rid himself of pent up frustration.
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Comments (5)
ahabsfan 17
I think you need to be concerned about where he jogs to. The jogging isn’t the only exercise he’s engaging in.
Dirtysalamander1 13
look a partner somewhere else or talk to him. no solution then open relationship or find
RichardPencil 32
Back in my day, "jogging" meant running at a slow pace for exercise. Seems to have a new meaning these days. Looks like it means ritual masturbation or wandering the neighborhood trolling for horny housewives.
Brightside86 31
Seems like a flimsy excuse to not have sex with you. Having someone move next door would have 0% impact on that aspect of my relationships.
nitsud82 14
what? why would him jogging kill your sex drive? why would your mother moving in next door make your husband want to kill your sex drive?? I can understand him being upset at her moving so close. that def can be seen as overstepping and boundary stomping. but why stop having sex over it?
sherri_baby88 36
The wife lost her sex drive because the mother moved in next door. Not the husband's fault. He's jogging to rid himself of pent up frustration.