Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I realised I've become the background stoner character of any college movie, as I sat alone on my dorm's bed, wearing flannel over a Pac-Man shirt, and smoking weed out of a skull-shaped bong. Sorry, mom. FML
Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
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Top comments
ByronJess 17
Weed and cat shit smell nothing alike.
emilyy5924 0
#60 You smoke weed, you don't use a needle..
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Comments (252)
immaMonsta 8
All I needed to read wax "Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint." and I knew that no matter what the rest of it said, that YDI.
TheLoneWandererX 2
You deserve to die for being a failed abortion.
KatieKupcake4195 9
I'm sorry to say this but YDI. I'm not judging though. Just please try not to do it again and please don't get into harder drugs. You're too good for that stuff sweetheart :)
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Weed is not a 'hard drug'. Just like alcohol, it's only bad when handled badly. Same can be said for anything; use in moderation.
KatieKupcake4195 9
Lol I'm very aware that it isn't a "hard drug". I was just saying that she shouldn't get into worse things.
ALEXLASFLA 0
Ah i remember my first joint
TheLoneWandererX 2
Last time i heard that i laughed so hard i fell off my dinosaur.
maiamafia 6
Damn amateur move OP, you need to be smokin' weed under star projectors, and then eventually stop or else you'll never know what Harvard got ya.
Nick_Tunze 0
Haha nice. Weed is amazing. Just learn to controll it
picturescrazy 24
Why didn't you smoke outside? Kind of retarded to smoke in your parents' home....
LulusLemon 8
you smoked a joint in the same house your parents live in? YDI for being an ignorant dumb ass.
themillerdevin 0
Your a ******* retard. Why put this on here? To make us feel sorry for your stupid ******* mistake? Grow up bitch. Drugs are bad news
JiggaJayZ 16
You're bad news
MyLife61 0
That's why u have spray... And hide the joint.. Smh
Michael912 3
That first time is crazy huh? Lol but really a stray cat couldnt think of anything better