Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML
Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk, saying, "Shut the fuck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He'd left, leaving the door kicked in. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I was listening to a true-crime podcast while taking a shower. Right as the narrator said, “And then he heard a loud bang,” my shampoo bottle fell off the ledge with a loud thud. I screamed so loudly, I apparently scared my neighbours, who banged on the wall. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
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Top comments
jjmiller1001 17
atleast they didn't come after you
Not_Impressed13 9
Just be glad they didn't take the "I love you" as an invitation..
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Comments (94)
abhi95 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
When you didn't hear a reply when you said I love you.. You should have known something was wrong!
whatthefreshhell 15
Yes, she should've known and promptly hopped out of the shower, grabbed her double barrel shotgun that she conveniently keeps by the toilet and gone after him. That's what any sane person would've done!
rhysfucker 24
I prefer a pump myself.
stewpididiot 11
I just LOVE sarcasm....
NoFlippinWai 24
well it probably wouldnt be the only pump action in the bathroom.
Ameel_fml 19
Usually when I call out to someone and they don't reply, I assume they didn't hear me. Not that they're a burglar who's broken into my house.
sikunt89_fml 16
Robbers need love too I guess... And TV's and stereos by the sound of things.
jjmiller1001 17
atleast they didn't come after you
whatthefreshhell 15
Maybe your I love you will make them think about it and return your stuff next time you're in the shower. Unlikely, but not impossible
whatthefreshhell 15
In a parallel universe I'm a mermaid. Sometimes that's the only thing that gets me through the day.
tvsrockson 6
Who knows they might even join you.
Not_Impressed13 9
Just be glad they didn't take the "I love you" as an invitation..
ElementaryEdGuy 18
Thinking about it, that is a weird way to greet someone. I don't know that I've ever said "I love you" as soon as they walk through the door. Shouldn't she have said something more typical like..."Hello?"
Clioo_fml 17
No! People always say that in horror movies, and look how it ends for them.
perdix 31
#8, maybe he did and he RSVP'ed his regrets. In that case, he'd have also stolen her self-confidence.
Caitie_kid 8
That's not weird, that's how my husband and I greet each other when we hear the other come in. It's nice :)
RodzillaX 30
At least you came out of the situation unharmed.
Ambient25 25
I guess you could say OP got the "cold shoulder". Though OP did forget to mention the robber stole his heart too.
RodzillaX 30
Her heart.
Talooka 10
No
Ambient25 25
Yeah I rushed the FML :(