Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML
Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
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Top comments
AGhost5445 25
He should have beat the shit out of you.
Shrike 24
Pretty sure you already did, OP.
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Comments (142)
williamcarter93 13
You goddamn fool.
Sir_Crackerjacks 5
I pity him... The fool I mean, I pity the fool.
Jesse_Knows_Best 0
If the guy sister 20 years old, no big deal. But if she is 12, I say beat his ass in public then call the cops.
perdix 31
The OP got it right. Giving your buddy an enthusiastic lecture for ******* your sister is pussified. For that, a beating must be at least attempted. You'll be reincarnated as a turd that tells it like it is!
rattusrattus 19
Well, that would make someone's pooping experience 100% more disturbing.
zandalee 20
He would come back as that ultra hard big poo that gets stuck half way.
rattusrattus 19
Some people are trolls on the internet. Some people are cruel trolls on the internet. Some people are trolls in real life. And some people are cruel trolls in real life. The OP is in the last category.
trc82000 3
Fun as hell
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Hell is fun?
hellokeroppi 5
Well because you probably will.
Welshite 40
I don't understand why people are saying the victim deserved to get beaten up because the sister may have been a minor. Statistically speaking, 70% of teenagers are sexually active by the age of nineteen. That means that the majority of high-school age kids are guilty of the same offense. Otherwise, there WAS a similar incident that circulated the internet a couple of years ago. I'm not giving out the title of the video until I get the OK from the moderators, though. :)
Sirin_fml 47
OK, ok, okay.
Welshite 40
The title was..."Russian Prank Gone Right" Absolutely hilarious, and worth watching.
SeleneB 1
You're a huge dick for not stopping him. You watched it to the extent of being beat to "absolute hell."
RinaRina 9
How can this FML have "IAYLS" votes O_O; he is a douche and deserved the punches himself.
DylansMomma 9
Your comment : F his buddy's life.