Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML
Today, I was woken up at 11:30 am by my mother standing over my bed, screaming at me. I'm 30 years-old, married, and do not live with her. She broke into my house because I didn't answer my phone, because I'm sick and on prescription sleep meds. WTF? FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML
Today, I came home at 1 am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML
Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
mogan_fml 0
dang. i wish i had a big, strapping young man like you around my house.
trevorus 0
You're one of them manly men, aren't you? Hehe...
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Comments (116)
fangobra 0
Grammar idiots: "Disorientated" is a word. It is the english form of "Disoriented" so get off your american high horses and get it into your heads that ENGLISH PEOPLE HAVE THE LAST SAY ON THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE (Also Australians but only because a) They are awesome and b) They use pretty much the same form of english.) HOWEVER. OP, YDI for calling your mother your "Mom" when you live in Derby.
SirJamie77 7
You deserve a medal, seriously.
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
Reasons Include: Watching Over Parents College Nearby Can't Afford House Want To Inherit House
EmzBlahhh 0
Ha well my cousin is 24 and he still lives with his parents...but he has a gf and a job sooo....
austinwyke 2
The FML here is that you're a 21 year old guy and still live with mommy.
lolmigosh 15
Maybe its his own house and his mom isnt SUPPOSED to be there
lalala96 19
Does gender really make a difference?
emydbby11 8
dude lmfao!!
vlalam 24
lol.. i m glad the kid in u is still alive
ballkrusher14 8
Pussy
Nyx7 24
Don't know why there's so much ydi, you can do alot of wierd stuff when semiconscious