Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML
Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question." Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying, "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today my boyfriend proposed to me and I gladly accepted. The first words out of his mouth after getting off his knees were, "I own you now!" FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML
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Top comments
whowantsit 0
don't get lazy
DreamerofWorlds 0
If he said it in a "haha, jk" kind of way, then you need to chill out. I get the impression that it was meant to be funny, not serious. My boyfriend would probably say something like this, and I'd just sweetly remind him that if angered, I could easily chomp down on him during said ********, lol. It's all in fun.
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Comments (242)
kayvan 8
Why is this an FML? He is just telling it like it is. Don't get lazy (and he shouldn't get lazy either in getting you off)
baybaylover1 0
say bitch you better keep puttin the good clear coat on my pussy and If you don't I'll **** your little white ass up
JesseJaymz 0
gotta love those slurpees!!!! I think this should be a clause in the pre-nup, for both sides. maybe then the divorce rate woulnt be 50%
phippsy95 2
erm, sounds the sort of thing I'd say. as a joke, don't take offence :)
MrC19 0
I agree lmao
TheVariableX 0
well you had better not. and make him more sammiches.
alicia_was_here 3
lol i doubt hed break up with you if you stopped giving good bjs. not that id suggest it, but itd be funny to see how hed react if you started being sloppy.
perdix 31
Sloppy can be fun, but lazy is unacceptable. Teeth are death.
alicia_was_here 3
ya, itd be funny to see her get sloppy. in a good or bad way.
goonie85 0
Snooki?
coolbeansrod 0
omgggggg that's hella funny (:
gusgus36 5
well he's a douche or maybe he's kidding. but I guess it's true a lot of couples slack off in the bedroom once they're engaged or married, so it's not crazy of him to be concerned
upintheorange 5
just for that, next time you should bite him.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I always do a double take when I come to your pic >.<