Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML
Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question." Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying, "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today my boyfriend proposed to me and I gladly accepted. The first words out of his mouth after getting off his knees were, "I own you now!" FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML
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Top comments
whowantsit 0
don't get lazy
DreamerofWorlds 0
If he said it in a "haha, jk" kind of way, then you need to chill out. I get the impression that it was meant to be funny, not serious. My boyfriend would probably say something like this, and I'd just sweetly remind him that if angered, I could easily chomp down on him during said ********, lol. It's all in fun.
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Comments (242)
birds_fml 7
Eh, I mixed on this one. It's kinda rude for him to say, but then, you SHOULDN'T get lazy with the ********. Until you're trying to have kids anyways. Assuming he gives you oral sex in return. Don't be like all those other cold wives who never go down on their husbands at LEAST once a month!
mrmaks18 7
I think he's giving you a complimant that you give good ********
whatshernuts 0
Lmao, well, I mean, it is true. But one good turn deserves another, if you catch my drift, so make sure you're not the only one who keeps goin' downtown.
Freeze_fml 17
You are a fine example of the women = evil equation.
allie2590 31
Lol, just tell him to not get lazy, either.
QuagmireJr 2
agreed
Bobissmall 13
I think he is just trying to say that he doesnt want things to change?
AlexsAngel3316 0
damn right! don't get lazy - get better!! xP
tonyfino 0
Hell ye, i told my wife the same thing, you cant loose the fun stuff you do while your young. keep it alive your whole marriage!
LexOrdrin 0
You just got engaged, but FYL cause your hubby wants consistent ********? This seems like a very reasonable request, if you ask me! I think you should re-evaluate just how ungrateful and petty you just made yourself sound.