Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML
Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question." Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying, "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today my boyfriend proposed to me and I gladly accepted. The first words out of his mouth after getting off his knees were, "I own you now!" FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML
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Top comments
whowantsit 0
don't get lazy
DreamerofWorlds 0
If he said it in a "haha, jk" kind of way, then you need to chill out. I get the impression that it was meant to be funny, not serious. My boyfriend would probably say something like this, and I'd just sweetly remind him that if angered, I could easily chomp down on him during said ********, lol. It's all in fun.
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Comments (242)
kittykataclysm 0
Lmao as long as he's not lazy! xp
viscousveshi22 0
This wouldn't be an issue if you had waited until you were engaged or married to start the sexual stuff. Just sayin haha
TheWicked 4
That is ******* retarded. Just sayin
CSM101 0
agree, but you probably forgot to mention the part where he immediately apologized for it, explaining it as a joke
SirSwali 0
he's right! he could fml if u started slackin on ur head givin after the fact.
Kibten 0
what an ass!!!! it shouldn't matter if u get lazy or not! marraige is for love! lol
lucy_looo 0
Buy him a Fleshlight and tell him to **** off ;)
btrow 0
agreed
QuietMayhem 0
um 17 you are Hella sexy.....
gravygecko 2
It's really an FML for him, because we all know that is exactly what it means.
gotweed 0
yea gotta return the favor ya kno