Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML
Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question." Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying, "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today my boyfriend proposed to me and I gladly accepted. The first words out of his mouth after getting off his knees were, "I own you now!" FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML
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Top comments
whowantsit 0
don't get lazy
DreamerofWorlds 0
If he said it in a "haha, jk" kind of way, then you need to chill out. I get the impression that it was meant to be funny, not serious. My boyfriend would probably say something like this, and I'd just sweetly remind him that if angered, I could easily chomp down on him during said ********, lol. It's all in fun.
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Comments (242)
chillinAK 9
Hes probably under the assumption that marriage would make it happen less. Most people are lol. I've been married for 11 years and my husband doesn't complain lol ;)
irockfendergirl 0
37- Agreed. My husband was under the same assumption, but he was wrong about me :) His ex wife quit giving him bj's after they got married. So I guess it does happen.
Eldir 0
win just win. course he should make sure to eat her out, hell I love doing it it's fun to do.
TomasT 0
It doesn't mean that!
CommentExplainer 0
He wants the difference between you and a mosquito to be when he slaps the mosquito, it stops sucking.
capilot 10
There's an old joke that goes like this: Q: why are brides so happy at weddings? A: because they know they've given their last *******.
perdix 31
Another old joke goes: Q: What's the difference between a job and a wife? A: After 20 years, the job still sucks. The reality, for me at least, is that the oral sex is better after marriage. She really tries hard to deep-throat, and after 12 years, she finally started to suck balls.
02CBM3 0
TRUTH!! haha jk... no but seriously..truth
youthink_fml 0
It's a fact that some people get lazy about things after they're married. He only wanted you to know it's not something he'd like. Your reaction though makes me think he had a reason to say it.
Furbz 0
Atleast he's saying that you're good!
PatRme 9
how is this an fml?
hobogirl 0
just tell him he better not get sloppy at going down on u. you also probably should have given him a blow til after u hot married so he would know how good u were. or you should've sucked on purpose! sucks to be you, literally!