Today, I started a job on a building site. Halfway through, I needed to use the toilet. One of the builders said there were two of them; one was "OK" and the other was "nasty." The first one I walked into had the foulest stench imaginable. Apparently, that was the "OK" one. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boss told me to find the bad smell coming from the apartment we were working on. I found the bathtub about 4 inches high full of piss, and spent the next hour bailing it out into a bucket because the drain wasn't connected yet. I have pee stains in all the wrong places. FML
Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML
Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
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Top comments
Krirn 21
As long as you're a guy, its okay to use at a distance.
coconutdaydream 7
Just dig a hole in the ground
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Comments (40)
Krirn 21
As long as you're a guy, its okay to use at a distance.
Mister_Triangle 21
Not if you've gotta go #2. No amount of foul stenches will motivate you to squeeze the cheeks hard enough to make your shit soar
Krirn 21
You need to watch the "Volcano" scene from Jackass 3
NickyK 25
If you gotta do #1.. Some distance sniping is perfectly fine!
Drigr 9
Hopefully OP was smart enough to check the other, the distance may not be neccesary. Or am I the only one that thinks it could be the "new guy on the job" prank to send them to the nasty one and call it the OK one?
BeachBoi_Alex 7
Man up.
onlychildFTW 34
Hold it in or invest in some diapers in case its impossible to hold it in anymore. That's gross. I'd just hold it in until my day was done.
coconutdaydream 7
Just dig a hole in the ground
Rynk95 11
Imagine what the nasty toilet must look and smell like!
Rynk95 11
I know - I just like kicking in open doors.
Mister_Triangle 21
You could at least have the courtesy to knock first.
Krirn 21
10 - I don't have any proof or statistics to back up my assumption, but I think it would've just been thumbed down.
perdix 31
Well, you're going to have to expand your imagination and come up with an even fouler stench, because the OK toilet may be occupied when nature calls.
LiesAndMischief 4
Oh no, screw that. I would just hold it until the first bathroom was free, I'm squicky enough with germs as it is. xD
mimi_animee 18
This is why as soon as I enter a bathroom I stop breathing through my nose so that I don't have to endure the horrible stench.
saIty 17
Of course, they're not going to give a newbie the clean toilet. You must first prove you are worthy.
sjdbeinska 4
what he didn't mention was the third one where you had to dig yourself a hole
Nabee143 3
From the sound of it, I think I would rather dig a hole in the ground and squat right there than use those disgusting toilets! I have a really bad gag reflex so I'm pretty sure I would be puking my brains out from the smell. Gross!
aksweetheart 7
27, at least you would be near a toilet :D
skippymagee 5
Well... That blows. Good luck.
julian_brunt 4
if u work on a building dite any toilet is a bonus, we used to have to drop trou anywhere, usually in someones hard hat
bReLiNg 18
Maybe you will accidentally knock over the "nasty" toilet with some machinery- therefore the company must get a new one. Or, they will say "too bad, deal with one" it's a long shot...
DocBastard 40
You're a man - the world is your urinal.
ColdplaySucks 18
Until you need to take a dump. But thats what leaves are for.