Today my wife told me she really wanted to have sex, and to wait in bed while she got ready. Turns out get ready means do the dishes, feed the dogs, clean the cat's litter tray, phone her sister, make coffee, shower, and wait for the dryer to dry her pyjamas. By the time she got in bed, I'd fallen asleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, it took me two hours to put all the kids to bed, so all I wanted to do was watch TV but my husband, who'd spent all that time asleep on the sofa, started pestering me for sex like he thought he deserved it after I'd asked him for help 3 times before just doing all the work myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when my wife came in wearing a new lingerie set, smiling at me. I dropped what I was doing and carried her to bed. After we'd finished, she went downstairs for a drink, saw the dishes I hadn't cleaned, and started a fight. Now I'm on the couch. FML
Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML
Today, since we hadn't been romantic for a long time, I shaved, took a bath, cut my hair and snuggled up to my husband in bed. He got up, went to the computer, masturbated to porn, came back to bed and asked me what was for breakfast. FML
Today, I woke up early to do the dishes and clean up, after having people over yesterday. Now my wife is mad at me because I didn't stay in bed with her longer. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, I woke up earlier than most days, I spooned my wife, gently massaging her back and letting her feel I was ready for play. She finally woke up, got dressed, and didn’t give a damn. I had to work it out myself once again. FML
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Top comments
Dumbum123 19
Maybe, if you want to get laid, do at least some of these chores. Maybe, don't call her sister, but, you could've done the rest.
clovericous 27
Help her :/
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Comments (8)
Dumbum123 19
Maybe, if you want to get laid, do at least some of these chores. Maybe, don't call her sister, but, you could've done the rest.
Chazzster 32
A very long time ago I learned not to count on “sex in the future”. Sex is either NOW or it’s just a hope. That’s not to say don’t make plans, but until the clothes come off don’t assume anything… Unfortunately OP’s spouse probably got distracted by various other things that seemed pressing at the time. I think most of us have been there at one time or another. Hopefully OP’s spouse will be “in the mood” again sometime and not get distracted…
cuz803 46
Sometimes it takes an effort by all which is more appreciated.
RichardPencil 32
I don't think she "really" wanted to have sex.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
She probably did, and he could have helped with the house work, because she was probably tired too after all that work. OP do your share.
clovericous 27
Help her :/
Brightside86 31
Your wife sounds awesome.
HayNow 11
You should've jumped her in the shower "wink"......
emmalou 19
You didn't even go check on her when she was taking so long?