Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
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Top comments
Cyker 6
Well that's a mouthful.
sohigh10 34
Hell of a first experience:|
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Comments (178)
TheAspieDork 27
That's one hell of a prank!
ChrisSixx 6
God damn. If that were me there would be one more single girl in this world. If I had the will power to not put her in a space shuttle and send it to the sun.
gohaz933 9
Well sometimes the truth is hard to swallow
lovero16 4
Well if he didn't like it he could always spank her for doing it ;)
Diamond_don 18
I at your own kids
weirdyoufail 0
Oh it's funny lol I've done it. Quiet amusing. But depends on the relationship you have with one another.
Zach Ertzberger 7
Marry that demented bitch RIGHT NOW.
SammyJay95 21
Honestly that was a bitch move. Not funny one bit. I know I’d be ******* pissed if anyone decided to spit anything in my mouth.
Chris_1163187222 15
I read this over a month ago.. as per usual a disappointment
DanaeZee 18
"The gift that keeps on giving" just randomly crossed my mind.