Today, my 45 year-old sister blamed my parents yet again for losing one tooth after the other because they did not tell her to brush her teeth before going to bed. It's general knowledge, honey. And somehow, I still have all my teeth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML
Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML
Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML
Today, I taught my younger cousins a more effective way to brush their teeth. Tonight when I was getting them ready for bed, I asked them why they weren't brushing their teeth like I taught them to. The littlest one replied, "Daddy said if we do then we'll have ugly teeth like yours." FML
Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML
Today, I found out my whole family has been mistakenly using the same toothbrush for over a month. FML
Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML
Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML
Today, after a childhood of battling bad teeth and cavities, I'm an overzealous brusher. I found out that I have cavities in all quadrants of my mouth from over-brushing, which will need multiple appointments to fill. FML
Today, my 21 year-old daughter called crying because she was in pain due to a wisdom tooth. She was angry because she thinks I should have called the dentist for her. She can't get an appointment immediately, so now refuses to celebrate her birthday four weeks away. I told her that she's an adult now. Still my fault. FML
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Top comments
juggalo2 22
If you make it to 45 with any teeth at all, it's a little late to start blaming your parents for your dental health.
Fergus52 16
You'd be surprised how few people actually have common sense
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Comments (2)
juggalo2 22
If you make it to 45 with any teeth at all, it's a little late to start blaming your parents for your dental health.
Fergus52 16
You'd be surprised how few people actually have common sense