Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML
Today, after I hooked up with a guy the other night and we had lots of fun, (or so I thought), I woke up to a text saying, “I feel worthless and disgusting after having sex.” He said he was a virgin and he’s a Christian. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in almost a year. To keep things casual, he had a couple of his friends join. Oh and by a couple of friends, I mean a party of people from his church. I'm not religious. The date wasn't even half over before I was being preached to. FML
Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML
Today, I showed up to work with a hickey on my neck and found out my boss is very Christian. He wasted my entire lunch break ranting to me about how the Bible says I shouldn't be having sex before marriage. FML
Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML
Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML
Today, we met my son's new girlfriend, who he met at church. My asshat husband cracked a joke about all the "new relationship sex" they must be having, offending her and angering my son, who said they were waiting for marriage. My husband retorted, "Who believes in that junk anymore anyway? Go have sex!" FML
Today, my future mother-in-law freaked out my very religious fiancé by telling him fornication is gonna send him to hell, because when I was with them in January we had sex every day for a month and she's still mad about it. FML
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
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Top comments
dragonstrike94 8
It's okay because sex is good for you
Pelreskovich 11
Nothing says good Christian morals like going spread eagle with your Christian accountability partner.
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Comments (71)
ThAtKiDAl 2
People seriously need to shut the **** up, I used to be a Christian then I realized I'm just a believer, sex is sex, whoopdy doo stop trying bring her down because of her "choices"
stupidguy1313 6
What.. The.. ****
truqbic 13
Missionary?
yeemahlifesucks 10
God is a bunch of BS, do what makes you feel happy, not what makes God happy
fantasyworld 39
It's your life, you can do what you want. Having sex isn't going to hurt anyone.
T1A2Z3 35
I mean... unless she likes that ;-)
lalaney 14
Look, don't be hard on yourself. Sex is natural. Yes, the Bible talks about sexual immorality, but the terms aren't specific. It ALSO says that a woman whose virginity can't be proven at her wedding, should be taken outside the city and stoned by men. You don't believe that, right? Then don't worry what the Bible says about what you should do with your body. It's yours.
daltonc21212 10
god isnt real you are fine
toolazytotype99 18
Wanna_bee is absolutely right, fornication is a sin people, regardless of what is taught today
T1A2Z3 35
Em... okay... go stone your mum. She fornicated to make you. You didn't say outside of marriage or anything so pretty much everyone is a sinner except Mary because she's a virgin? This doesn't make any sense.
Benderama 8
I don't get the problem you got laid why is this a fml?
jaydoo 6
As long as you cum and enjoy it, sounds ok to me.