Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML
Today, after I hooked up with a guy the other night and we had lots of fun, (or so I thought), I woke up to a text saying, “I feel worthless and disgusting after having sex.” He said he was a virgin and he’s a Christian. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in almost a year. To keep things casual, he had a couple of his friends join. Oh and by a couple of friends, I mean a party of people from his church. I'm not religious. The date wasn't even half over before I was being preached to. FML
Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML
Today, I showed up to work with a hickey on my neck and found out my boss is very Christian. He wasted my entire lunch break ranting to me about how the Bible says I shouldn't be having sex before marriage. FML
Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML
Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML
Today, we met my son's new girlfriend, who he met at church. My asshat husband cracked a joke about all the "new relationship sex" they must be having, offending her and angering my son, who said they were waiting for marriage. My husband retorted, "Who believes in that junk anymore anyway? Go have sex!" FML
Today, my future mother-in-law freaked out my very religious fiancé by telling him fornication is gonna send him to hell, because when I was with them in January we had sex every day for a month and she's still mad about it. FML
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
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Top comments
dragonstrike94 8
It's okay because sex is good for you
Pelreskovich 11
Nothing says good Christian morals like going spread eagle with your Christian accountability partner.
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Comments (71)
rubberduckie94 13
If you feel guilt for this simply ask forgiveness. Then ask for a different partner I am not sure how Christian accountability partner works. Get one you know you will not be attracted to. We are all human and even the most devout fall into temptation. Don't let one action you feel was sinful define you instead let it help you.
T1A2Z3 35
Or you know the OP could just ask for all the hot guys and have a Christian gang bang?
ifoundalaska 11
How was it?
jaredofmo 22
What God hath put together, let no man tear asunder!
MrsDruidess 23
right! maybe it wasn't the way you thought it should happen, but maybe someone above is trying to tell you something! and if not, sex isn't wrong! Don't be free with it, but don't hide from it. Do you really want to end up married to someone who can't satisfy you because you were too afraid to take him/her for a test drive? Faith is great but you have to be real, God is ok with real, just keep your head about you.
ryanmanning 3
"doesn't matter, had sex"
muffinXmonster 12
Woohoo go Christian values!!!
brendazelada 10
Time for confession
jagjag23 0
Whoa hi lol
phsdude5 0
Was this partner, by any chance, a Catholic priest?
Steel_BZ 8
How is this a "FML"? More like "LML"!!
MissHayleyJames 7
Because its a sin and some people try not to commit sins and take it very seriously. Therefore they're upset about it and totally regret it. I absolutely regret sleeping with a couple boyfriends before I met my husband. I regret it every day and wish I'd waited, but we can't dwell on our mistakes so we just have to accept them and move on.
Torva_fml 16
You should at least tell us what you thought LML should stand for.. I'm lost?? "lick my lefty?"
T1A2Z3 35
Live my life? Love my life? Lick my life? Like sleeping with my Christian accountability partner my life?
groupleader 7
Well, maybe you will be lucky and end up pregnant, then you & your accountability partner can raise the kid with some "badchristian" (talk about irony!) values...
InuwindoW 13
Way to go!!!