Today, I was teasing my son about all the newlywed sex he must be having. He turned bright red and ended up admitting that because they stayed virgins until marriage they were too nervous to try on the wedding night, or on the honeymoon, or anytime since then. The wedding was 4 months ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I still haven’t consummated my marriage with my new wife. She said no sex before marriage and I obliged for 2 long years. During our honeymoon, she kept making up excuses. Now when I sit down and talk to her, she calls me a “horny pervert” and accuses me of “using her for sex” and stormed off. FML
Today, after a year and a half of sticking to my new wife’s “no-sex-before marriage” rule while we dated, she brushed me off while I tried to consummate the marriage. Apparently, she’s not ready to have kids yet and “semen will get the sheets dirty.” Guess I’ll be jerking it on my honeymoon. FML
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky so I promised my husband he’d get some at bedtime. He promised not to hold his breath. When I asked what he meant, he told me it’s been 83 days since our last shag, and in that time we almost had sex 16 times, only for me to change my mind, hence not holding his breath. FML
Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
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Top comments
Gubbon 17
Well... THEIR life sucks.
Wadlaen 24
Well, they should get to it and find out what they're missing out on!
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Comments (8)
Wadlaen 24
Well, they should get to it and find out what they're missing out on!
Gubbon 17
Well... THEIR life sucks.
SirEnigM0nk 22
And this is a problem for you because...? I mean, it's better than rushing into intimacy before they are ready.
mechgineer 3
They both might just be asexual.
SylvarLorali 4
Um... thats creepy. Don't do that.
D J's MOM 17
send them a bottle of some good stuff, maybe it'll get them in the mood. no more comments though, it'll happen when they're ready.
lgrave 8
Well, for sure YOU failed in the sexual education of your son.
EricW 4
ok. just **** the bride to teach them how to proceed