Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, since I needed someone to talk to about it, I told my girlfriend how my dad was recently diagnosed with diabetes. My girlfriend's mother then told me, in graphic detail, how her father's diabetes led to his toes being hacked off. FML
Today, I went to get a double conch piercing. Afterwards, the lady asked me whether I was feeling well, because I was looking so pale. I had to explain that it's my normal skin tone. I'm just pale as fuck. FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
Today, a cute guy complimented me on my legs. I, being the awkward person that I am, panicked and replied, "Thanks, I grew them myself." FML
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Top comments
HerroMaylaHerro 6
What? How did you do that?
DocBastard 40
Hopefully her father's sense of humour isn't fake.
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Comments (108)
HeartOfLead 24
Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix.
Metallica36176 16
Should've lightened the mood by loudly saying "Boy that's a knee slapper!"
xpheonix57 7
Let me take a moment to explain this since so many people are having trouble: He was out to dinner, wanted to comment on his girlfriends tan legs and accidentally asked if her legs were fake. This could have been an offensive statement because her father, who was present at dinner, has prosthetic legs. So yeah, basically open mouth and insert foot. Sorry, OP :(
False_Stupidity 42
That is so funny
Mimilyssa 7
I'm sorry...but I must... Your girlfriend must have been stumped.