Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML
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Top comments
ohheykiwi 2
You're gonna die. It's gonna get infected. And you will die.
arsenalfcboy 6
FYL for living in a country with no National health care
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Comments (292)
AECobb738 0
Ummm #78, if you don't have insurance, an emergency room visit can run up to a few hundred dollars just to be seen. Welcome to the crap hole that is our health care system. That's why he wouldn't just run over to the ER to get stitched up. Also, I'm deathly afraid that that "fucktard" is my brother. It just sounds like something he would do.
mycool101 0
YDI for not having insurance.
Nick726 0
All you people who say that he's gonna get infected you're stupid. Superglue works quite well for closing up cuts and whatnot. It's quite safe, and you don't have to get any special medical glue either. The normal stuff works fine. I've used it many times and I still have all my limbs.
theshadow013 0
You all know they INVENTED superglue as a stitches replacement during the vietnam war, didn't you? That's why it works so well on skin. IT WAS DESIGNED TO CLOSE WOUNDS.
picturerazzi 0
I hope you've had your tetanus shot within the last 8-10 years buddy.... if not you should get one soon. just put hydrogen peroxide or rubbing alcohol and keep the infected area clean and dry... btw, if this is your "FML" moment in life... you've got it pretty good! lol!
jaywisker 0
oh wow thats smart lmao
ohSNAPyall 27
Can you even recycle ceramic?
wolfmother_fml 0
I would have used cement but ur choice
Thaddeus_Prime 0
dude superglue is the shit I cut the bottom of my foot to the bone on a broken bottle cleaned it and superglued it. like it never even happened. even hospitals use superglue for cuts, it doesn't say superglue on the tube but that's what it is. you'll be fine in 5 days tops.
scottvodka 0
you should have just thrown a bandaid on it. pussy.