Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML
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Top comments
ohheykiwi 2
You're gonna die. It's gonna get infected. And you will die.
arsenalfcboy 6
FYL for living in a country with no National health care
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Comments (292)
Ross2Smoove 0
damn smh
dotero 0
hahaha that's the problem with you americans, all the insurance trouble!, social security r00lz, too bad u'r president didn't get to change that. I Really hope you get the beneficts of this pretty soon! -also the problems of course- And about using SuperGlue......it's ok, but don't get used to it, buy something like http://www.dermabond.com/
Susaluda 0
My boyfriend superglues cuts too. It's actually quite a good method as long as you disinfect it.
cassado0dle 0
well ur a smart cookie. SUPER GLUE?? well if you were mexican you would have used duct tape. haha. just kidding. and no im not saying that being offensive because i am mexican, but it sure is funny looking at a car that has one of its brake lights taped on. (:
coolplanes 0
I love it how everyone always corrects eachother in the comments
8trickster8 0
You forgot a full stop.
tuscany 0
stop fighting duct tape fixes everything
dontgiveacrap 0
I find all of this amusing. The problem with a single payer system is not the fact that it's "government health care" it's the people who will end up using it, or I should say abusing it. I have a friend, when she was younger she didn't have health coverage but she went to her doctor once a year for a check up, paying out of pocket for the visit, she did the same with her dentist.
serious1y 0
you made this up. you're from california and you want more people to support health care.
tisiphone_fml 0
Gah... I have too many friends who do this crap because they can't afford insurance... just make sure you keep it clean, dry, and bandaged!
ChaplainNinja 0
Superglue is a highly effective suture when used properly. Props for being able to take care of yourself amid a broken medical system!