Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML
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Top comments
ohheykiwi 2
You're gonna die. It's gonna get infected. And you will die.
arsenalfcboy 6
FYL for living in a country with no National health care
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Comments (292)
go_rangers 0
Heh, nope... the doctors told me to go to the hardware store to pick some up because it's a lot cheaper than the medical kind and works just as well.
mzhonesty 0
Was it one of those recycling bins where you can't open the lid and look in?
dudeface 1
That is a completely acceptable way to earn Man Points. Good job! Hope there's no nerve damage.
houston21 0
My first thing would not to put superglue on it right away. You should of cleaned it up a little first. I managed to rip part of my finger open from shutting it in a door. I should of gotten stitches but I just cleaned it up with a little neosporin and a few bandaids and it healed itself back up. I've heard to use the superglue but I didn't want to use that.
mirrah_fml 1
Wow.... I'm happy to live in a contry where there is mandatory health care insurance...
iamelrebel 0
that's what super glue was originally invented for. it was used by soldiers during wartime, when they needed a quick fix if they couldn't get help right away.
Sekococo 0
Captain planet will be so proud, that you recycle. Unlike your roomate's girlfriend she will wake up to captain planet di*k in her mouth and him saying " Recycle that Bit*h"*....I dunno why am so evil today... I like :D
fdragon257 0
that was the original purpose of superglue. not ANYMORE, though, so bad idea
mahabuddha 0
fucktard. you don't need insurance to get medical care. what the **** do u think all the people are doing in emergency rooms?
BaJa23 0
That's is why you all should go for the healthcare system!!