Today, I finally found something to be thankful for in my lonely life: At least I don’t have to panic whenever my period is late. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my period was officially 2 weeks late. I have a phobia about giving birth, so I had a panic attack, went to Walmart, spend $15 on four pregnancy tests and a drink, came home, and took the tests. All four came back negative. As I went to clean up and throw everything away, I got my period. FML
Today, I realized that without fail, even if I'm not supposed to get it, I get my period just in time for vacations. FML
Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, my period came two days late. After fretting for two days, my body made it up to me by sticking three days of symptoms in one day. I needed Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Scotch, and cuddles before I got any relief. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML
Today, I’m at the stage of my life where a normal bowel movement is practically a cause for celebration. FML
Today, I finally started feeling better after getting a tooth pulled last week. I also started something else: my period, while I was stuck in the dentist's chair during my follow-up appointment. FML
Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML
Today, I woke up to realize I got my period a week early. The day of the after-wedding brunch. In a sort of remote area. Without pads or tampons. I need to be at the breakfast in a half-hour. FML
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Top comments
sch00ln3rd 11
People aren’t getting it. You’re lonely so you’re not getting any. Don’t mind them…reading comprehension sucks for most. Anyway, OP just try to imagine a horrible relationship and be thankful you’re not settling. It’s always better to be alone and wait for a great relationship. Also, try to volunteer and dedicate your time doing self fulfilling things. Don’t think of your life as lonely just because you’re alone. Romantic relationships aren’t the only ones.
Plop 17
It sounds like OP's problem is that she's got neither friends, **** buddies, nor anything similar. Just so you know, **** buddies could get OP pregnant. Contrary to what your mommy and daddy told you, you don't need to love someone very very much to make babies.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Learn to use birth control? Have friends who aren't **** buddies?
Plop 17
It sounds like OP's problem is that she's got neither friends, **** buddies, nor anything similar. Just so you know, **** buddies could get OP pregnant. Contrary to what your mommy and daddy told you, you don't need to love someone very very much to make babies.
[email protected] 5
I think a little context would be a great idea, cuz ngl, you make it sound like you're gettin' it on with another species, so... hopefully that's not what you were going for. If it is, no judgement, but get some help you sicko XD
Plop 17
What kind of reading comprehension disability do you have that made you understand that??? OP literally just said that she's lonely, and therefore pregnancy scares aren't an issue for her. I.e., she's not getting laid. Where do you see any possible reference to another specie in the FML???
sch00ln3rd 11
People aren’t getting it. You’re lonely so you’re not getting any. Don’t mind them…reading comprehension sucks for most. Anyway, OP just try to imagine a horrible relationship and be thankful you’re not settling. It’s always better to be alone and wait for a great relationship. Also, try to volunteer and dedicate your time doing self fulfilling things. Don’t think of your life as lonely just because you’re alone. Romantic relationships aren’t the only ones.
Plop 17
Or download Tinder, that'll work too. Or rather, virtually any dating app besides Tinder, unless she's looking specifically for a dumb f*ckboy with absolutely no personality. Which OP might, I'm not judging. And yes, people really need to learn how to read, and more importantly to understand what they read. I'll pass on the customary jab at the American education system.
Brightside86 31
Mary probably thought the same thing then BAM! immaculate conception.
arbortardo 2
Isn’t that how silicone sex dolls are made?